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| sexycuban (profile) wrote, on 3-22-2004 at 11:05pm | |
| Current mood: Emo Music: *last train home* Subject: *Me...* |
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| Wow im on this like life changeing quest hehe im so dumb..anywho im trying to find who i am i thought i knew i used to know who i was i was this strong person who ignored other peoples ignorance and stupidity but now im like caught on this emo trip and it has a hold on me and wont let go and im trying to be happy and trying to find myself and im like trying to stop im draging my toes in the dirt but it wont let me go... the most important thing in my life was to be true to myself but ive come to realize that im not..i let other people have this huge impact on me and my decisions.and i dont stand up for myself and today i was looking at some poem book thing and my mom was fliping through it and she stoped and looked at this page and it said " thank you for telling me i could grow up to be sucessful at anything i wanted if only i believed in myself the way you believed in me" and she turned to me and said "tita (my nickname at home for those who dont know)i wish you could believe in yourself and i wish you could look in the miror and like who you are" well at that point i was in tears b/c ive never looked at it that way i mean like i always thought that i believed in myself but now i look...i dont always try hard enough i never give my all im always like w.e dosent matter but it dose matter...anywho im so confused about things and what i want...i have to start being my own person making my own decisions b.c i dont like who i am i wanna look in the mirror and be proud of who i am b.c right now im not i hate who i am and im looking at myseld not happy and what i see is this girl that has all this pain and alone and depressed all the time.. i wanna be happy i want to be in love but i dont need it i dont need love i can love myself thats all i need i guess all i wanted was to feel loved and wanted to feel like theyre was someone out there that wanted me there that i was of some purpose to their happiness i wanted to feel like i had someone to hold me even tho all i wanted was to be alone but they stuck by me anyways i kinda had someone but thats pretty much over and thats okay and im finally okay witht that im i can move on now... im going to stay single till someone comes along and changes my mind on being single who will make me want to have a bf and open up to them and be a good gf to but till them im staying single cuz i cant take the risk of getting hurt again i cant hold on to the pain and whats not there anywho im done with my b/s and emo shit im crazy anywho gotta go bye bye all -crystal- |
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| Anonymous | 03-23-04 3:24am Hey crystal Everything will work out for you... I promise... And i am going to write a really really long comment b/c i am bored stiff and its oh 2 16am i think its tuesday morning i am not sure.. SO anyways..... Lets see... random things... Rocko From Rocko modern Life is what kind of animal??? lol its a walabe hehe thats kinda funny to me anyways... uh... You being Emo... LEts see its good your starting to believe in your self... and love your self.. and soon you will like what you see in the mirrior i had the same problem it went away though after alot of pain you just have to fight through it..... I can help you ... but you kinda have to help your self and do it your self.... well with that said Back to random Stuff YOU CANT BE EMO ALL THE TIME ARG...!>!>!>!.... HMMM .... I single lunar phase contains 28 days lol. Now think if the moon weighed something would it fall from the sky... Well... I dont know................ well i lost all train of thought i didnt have one to begin with but i lost it... Ant made me read some stuff about cars and him and other people raceing... and Then DOUg is telling me how.... Checkers poisoned his food... LOL so ANyways i have No Idea where i was or what i was saying Anyways.... SO Then UH...MY eyes hurt like hell maybe b/c i cant sleep and i just keep typeing b/c i know it will annoy you at some point that my post is so freaken long with really no point to it I mean there was some point i gave you some advice hehe I give you a hug *HUGS* Yup .... ANyways .. Lets move no Oh if your wondering i am sure your not but i am going to tell you anyways.... it is... lets see uh.... 2 50am i realised its tuesday I am sure by this point your saying to your self Wow hes stupid in fact i know your thinking it now... lol ..... and i am dork i am sure all these things are going through your head.....anyways Back to Some thing i have to leave this post with some meaning Like some wise saying well i will...Go look for one i will brb ... Well not like it matters B/c you wont notice i left anyways.... LOL lets see i found lots of them so yea!!! "There isn't any deception in "our" reality." -AFG thats kool "Be open to your dreams, people. Embrace that distant shore. Because our mortal journey is over all too soon" "Death is nothing to us, since when we are, death has not come, and when death has come, we are not." "Death is nothing more then an awaking from a bad dream of reality" LOL thats about it......... SO then Yea I love you You.. Allways will hehe.... ITs 3 now and theres nothing on.... well porn but it bores me lots.... anyways.....Well i must sleep at some point goodnight CRYSTAL MUAHAHAHAAAHHAAHAHAHA my post is really long. well again I love you allways will hehe .. and wish you the best......... TTYL later today...
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sexycuban | Re:, 03-23-04 8:03am haha thanks mike i like the long comment it was funny hehe anywho i love you too and i do hope things work out too anywho bye bye ttyl today
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Anonymous | Re: Re:, 03-23-04 3:32pm hehe yea...
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