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mle (profile) wrote,
on 1-5-2003 at 12:04am
Current mood: hurting. sick of life.
Music: avril - im with you
Subject:
fuck this.
fuck you.
fuck me.
fuck everything.

i cant stand this.

at marcus's... i was so ungodly happy. even when he was paying more attention to rikki than me. but eventually we went to lauras. lots and lots of people were there. including emily.
of course, eventually (after like 10 mintues of me, rikki and marcus being there), emily ended up on his lap or whatever. and rikki wasnt feelin it either, so we left.
went to sarah sobe's. that sucked too. so we left there after a few minutes and just drove. all the way out to coopersville.

rikki knew how bummed i was. and she wouldnt leave my side. i feel bad for bringing her down...

and matt's being a jerk about this whole thing. im so upset w/ him.

ive got nowhere to go. and im dying. i couldtn even make it home from rikkis w/o breaking down in tears.
this is really shitty...

mle
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spud

01-05-03 3:15pm

jesus christ

i leave for a weekend, and return to shambles.

one of these days i'm gonna buy a damn car, drive down there, and give you a fucking hug.

oh

and i personally am fond of dark hair (although i'm unfairly partial)

(reply to this)
mle

Re:, 01-05-03 8:22pm

eh. last night was really bad. and the people i depend on were anything but there... i cant control that.
i just gotta keep my head on straight for while and ill be ok eventually.

sometime or another (hopefully soon), ill get another reason to be all slap-happy for a while just like i was the past few months. and itll be ok. :)

lol, and ive gotten mixed reviews about the hair. and some bad glares. lol maybe too much black? oh well. its just hair :)

mle

(reply to comment)
drunkslut

Re: Re:, 01-06-03 2:32pm

i would have been there~in a heartbeat! i cant read your mind! cry out for help when its needed! it doesnt make you weak, it makes you a stronger person to admit your flaws and welcome help when you cant fix it yourself! dont feel alone when youre not, dont deny those friends that you have so that you can feel alone...

once again, only my opinion

(reply to comment)
mle

Re: Re: Re:, 01-06-03 5:21pm

... last time i went to you, it didnt work out very well.

mle

(reply to comment)
drunkslut

Re: Re: Re: Re:, 01-07-03 2:15pm

sorry, but i dont know/remember what youre talkin about

(reply to comment)
mle

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 01-07-03 3:13pm

one night during break, i was at marcus's w/ rikki and emily. it was bad, so i went outside and called u. i wasnt feelin it, and u were busy.
and i dint relaly want a repeat of that.
idk. i know im just being pissy or whatever. but ....

mle

(reply to comment)
drunkslut

Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 01-08-03 2:09pm

i told you to leave and come see me, thats all that i could do! i didnt know where you were so i couldnt come out there with you and give you the hug you needed! i dont know what you want from me and if you dont tell me then im not gonna be able to be there for you the way you need me to be! i do what i can and thats not enough, i do what i know to do but it doesnt help, if you dont inform me of what helps you then it cant be me that does it...

(reply to comment)