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| shiznit05 (profile) wrote, on 4-1-2004 at 9:10pm | |
| Current mood: im not quite sure Music: groban |
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| its been a few days, and things have been going on just the same... played my hardest solo today in band. i thought i was going to make mr headley cry, he stopped band just so he could come over and talk to me about it, not the technicality of it, but the emotion i have to put into it, and that he cant wait until i can get to the point where i play it and im not a nervous wreck because there are four sharps...that guy is a piece of work... schools been a waste this week, we're actually learning something new in math, but its easy, spanish is as always, chem is nothing, and AS has turned into econ. none of its hard, its all tedious, and i feel no energy to wake up and go to school every morning when i feel like i could be accomplisong more someplace else... track has been dreary, the weather has been misty and cloudy and cold all week, today the sun was shining right before track, as soon as we got out there, it was like massive cloudiness....track, in all honesty, hasnt been that fun this week, the weather makes us dreary, so we throw worse and with no ambition, we go to the weight room, still with no ambition, and lift only half of what we should be doing, we dick around during abs, and i leave feeling like i accomplished nothing, sure the company is great, i love being able to spend 2 hours with these people everyday after school, but not when they get to the point of almost depression, because something isnt going their way, its extremely difficult to talk them through it too becuase i just dont know how to help them, i know i shouldnt be trying to help, because its really not my problem, but to see them so unhappy, you just want them to be happy and i can't for the life of me turn this around and i feel horrible. just talking to the kid makes me want to cry because its like he's holding this huge sign in front of his head that says failure! you cannot help! just leave. thats the impression that im getting, and its really hurtful, so i just dont know what to do... abby asked me about prom today...all the guys i think about maybe going with are like, fuck prom, i dont want to go...well shit, that doesnt put you in a good mood, so then i go into the whole teenage girl turnoil..."i wont get asked to prom, im fat and ugly and no one likes me i may as well go take a long walk off a short cliff because my presense is neither needed nor wanted, goodbye" not exactly a fun feeling to have, and i try not to have it, like i can identify that its dumb and i shouldnt be feeling it because its basic teenage turmoil and im better than that, however, you can't help how you feel....ugh, stupid talked to my dad about the whole car situation...ive decided to wait a year, be able to sell both vehicles and take that larger sum of money and buy something new :) thats like the only thing keeping me smiling right now |
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| Anonymous | 04-01-04 9:33pm Puh to guys! Britt, regardless of who you go to prom with... you're going to have fun. That's just your nature! But on a lighter note, Track's going to be so cold tomorrow. I don't know how I'm going to handle just sitting there, but I'm going to watch your throwing for the first time! YAY!! Good luck tomorrow my dear and kick some ass.
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