Add Memory | Add To Friends
TaoMan1121 (profile) wrote,
on 4-4-2004 at 2:55pm
Music: Badly Drawn Boy - A Minor Incident
Subject: and nothing you could do to stop me feeling the way I do...
I'm off the wagon, and I'm hitchin' a ride. Don't worry, it'll go soon, I can already feel it leaving, but on the other hand, it's always there, so that's a relative statement.

I want to get out of here. I thought time served + good behavior, I'd be up for parole by now. I'm so fucking jealous of all you people on the outside, or at least those who believe they're on the outside. Don't mistake, I don't want company here, I just want to be out there with you. Ignorance is bliss. I want to be ignorant. So you have really deep thoughts, what's so special about really deep thoughts?

I forget what it looks like on the outside. 'Til then, visiting hours are 9-5, and if you show up at ten past 6, you know I'll find some way to sneak you in.

Fuck you for calling me and telling that, not once, but twice. How does that help me?

And fuck you for talking to me and making me feel better last night. I love you.

And fuck myself for dreaming.

You think that I want to feel this way. You think that I want to write these words? I could stop, but where the hell has my restraint got me up until this point? People will still walk on my fucking back if I let 'em. No wonder there's so many cynical people on this earth; I'd love to join you, but I don't know how.

There's just too much that time cannot erase. I sure hope I get released soon, because I'm sure am sick of looking at these goddamn bars.
Post A Comment

Fanelia

04-04-04 3:12pm

Sometimes dude, you really worry me.

:-(

(reply to this)

Leeder5421

04-04-04 3:41pm

Dude, take it easy.......I know it is shitty, but take it down a notch....remember, you're not the only one who's ever had this kind of problem. Do you think I was never jealous of you and Fras when I would hang out with you guys and your girlfriends? I constantly felt like an outsider during those situations, but I dealt with it. As for feeling smothered or confined (I'm a little confused as to what this entry is about, btw), remember that you're taking a vacation pretty soon, so you at least have that going for you.

(reply to this)

Angel_Bob

and if the chance should happen that I'll never see you again..., 04-04-04 7:03pm

just remember that I'll always love you

I love that song... It makes me sad.

I wish I was blind, deaf and mute. I wouldn't be able to see all the things I do about people and I wouldn't be able to hear all the words they say against others.

Or maybe if I was just eternally a child. Questioning everything. Always holding a flower and a smile ready to be there for anyone with a hug and a laugh.

But I'd rather be stuck innocent and blind than smart and all-seeing.

I hope you can escape.

I love you.

(reply to this)

TaoMan1121

Re: and if the chance should happen that I'll never see you again..., 04-05-04 12:07pm

Thank you.

(reply to comment)
Anonymous

04-04-04 11:53pm

This is Ricci. If u need someone to talk to let me know. I have to admit I am so confused about your entry and I have no idea what is going on but I am here for you if u need me. BTW, it was nice hanging w/ you on Saturday night even tho it wasn't for very long :) But I'm sure you guys were happy to ditch the girl and go out to the bar and get drunk of your asses (hehe). Call me if u need me.

(reply to this)