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| thetheories (profile) wrote, on 4-6-2004 at 9:42pm | |
| Current mood: flirty Music: aol radio. last tuesday Subject: let go! |
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| i need to let go of everythign. I know that i'm holding on to the past. And yeah, it's realy starting to get annoying and mixed in with my personal affiars. I jsut need to stop being so judgemental. I need to stop being a cynic and jealous and ... that stuff. I have a lot of the qualties that i hate. I'm just not doing that whole smile and give it 100 percent thing anymore. I've gottne lazy in my old age. Every conversation for me is like trying soo hard to convey this message of me as a happy healthy bouncy chick. It's not happening anymore. I don't want to put on this little charade anymroe. I just want to be me and not worry. It's beginning to tick me off. I just want to be me. And i need to hear that i'm beautiful. Because being me is making me sick. And yeah. i'm feeling flirty... desperate? i don't know. I don't know. We had our ISATs.... which as those of you not from Illinois wouldn't know stand for Illinois Standart Achievement Tests. ugh. they're lame. very lame. and we'll have them for the next two weeks. It's almost over though. i'm happy about that. Just to think that i wanted to end it all... i wanted tob e gone.. i didnt want to see this year pass by. I can't say that i regret the choices i've made.t he people i'[ve been (yeah.. you read that correctly.. jsut think about it) And i'm pretty proud of the things i've done. But i don't regret the clothes i've worn, the things i've said, or anythign like that. I just take it all with a grain of salt. This is very insignificant if you look at in the long run. I think that's what makes me soo... cynical at times. i just don't know. I'm Jesus saved me from hell last year. I never have to go back ::sigh of relief:: who I was... was ickky. I haven't completely gotten rid of that person. But i've definately gotten a little of her left. And that's okay. We all have our battles to fight and our skeletons in our closets. I just to try to fight mine peacefully and i give my skeletons some air. Peace. Love. love is what we all need. and a good hug. --somedays just pass you by. others stick with you like freshly chewed gum. Remember the moments you'd like to savor pull the other ones off with the gum from the bottom of your shoe-- |
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blondiegirl05 | 04-09-04 12:50pm Never be afraid to be yourself. You can't expect others to think you are beautiful and love you if you can't even love yourself. |
thetheories | Re:, 04-09-04 2:46pm who isthis?!? |