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| playmate101 (profile) wrote, on 4-12-2004 at 6:33am | |
| Current mood: light headed Music: all falls down:: kanye west Subject: zero to none. |
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| there needs to be a song that i could listen to everytime stupid shit like this happens. cause i really could kick him in the ass right now... if i had the energy. i can't see out of my right eye, i'm so light headed that when i LAY DOWN i'm still dizzy, my eyes are so red from crying, and my throat is scratchy from screaming for him to stay away & just go to work. i don't think i've ever felt this beautiful before. so the day starts: 5am- take a shower, blow dry the hair, get dressed. mommy said last night that she would wake up because she wants to do my makeup... how sweet of her. only when i got her up, i had to go. so i was just gonna do it, but my dad's voice, screaming at me that i had to go (which i already was aware of) scared the me so bad that while i was doing the eyeliner thing, the black line ended up across my face, like when someone hits ur elbow when ur writing. so i tried cleaning it off & hurrying up, but... daddy just bitched & bitched. finally, he said, "find ur own fucking ride, i'm leaving." so the end was... he left, came back to bitch at me some more while i layed on my bed and felt the spit from his nasty mouth on my face... so i covered it with my blanket next to me... and he bitched at me for "missing the bus" which technically... he's the one who is always late because he has to gather his paintball shit and everything into the car every morning... which is just bull fucking honkey shit. but i don't know... his words are so abusive. after he is done screaming at me... i feel my body weaken and i feel like my left leg has been broken, my arms bruised, my face scratched, and maybe a few fingers chopped off. its like... thats what he wants to do to me, but because i am part of his family... he CAN'T. thats all that is saving me. but i don't see how he is willing to come back again & offer to take me to the bus when he just bitched about not wanting to chase it & i'm crying so badly that i don't find the idea of being alone with him in a car for 10 minutes... of any comfort. and as far as i am concerned... he plays no important part of my life... i pay for everything i need or want, i go out whenever the fuck i please & do whatever the fuck i want, i take on more than he ever has, i'm paying for fucking college, so all he has to do is work for my brother and sister. mommy can support herself too. hello! o well. this world is crazy... and i'm just glad that i spend it with my family & boyfriend, & friends. speaking of boyfriend... haha, today is 6 months. can u believe it.... 6 months. this boy is everything to me. if i ain't got u, then everything.... means nothing. <3 "think i fell in love with the 8th world wonder" i'm out... might as well take advantage that i have time to eat breakfast. yay. |
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theroofisonfire | 04-12-04 10:51am today wasnt supposed to be like this. but for all its worth... congratulations.
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| spicypsychosis | Re:, 04-12-04 8:22pm Whoh i feel you, ehh this has happened to me alot but you aren't as fortuanate as me to be able to actually kick your dad's ass but don't worry one day HIS ASS IS GOING DOWN! and a nice feel good well for me atleast is outkast- da art of story telling part 1 the beat is pretty cool and melo |
naztymizzbella | 04-13-04 8:11pm congrats! take care of jonah my son!! lol |
naztymizzbella | 04-13-04 8:44pm yoo g2 help me wit some journal codes cuz i can*t even italicize my words! :/ hmmph! |