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| werealljaded (profile) wrote, on 4-12-2004 at 11:56am | |
| Current mood: bouncy Music: so co |
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| I wish I weren't so mature for my age. I wish I could have every other high school chicks juvenile way of thinking. I am the only person I know who can honestly say I've never had a first love, I've never had that relationship to look back and say...I learned something from that....I've really never even been totally infatuated with anyone. I know that there is no point at this age. What will any current "love" mean ten years from now. NOTHING. So why bother crying and trying so hard for something that you know will eventually lead to nothing? You see couples all the time that are so cute and pulling the whole "S love you more, no I love you more" deal. It it's sad because they look so happy at that exact moment...And you know in just a little amount of time they'll do something to hurt each other and all those good times will mean nothing. The quote of my life: NOTHING GOLD CAN STAY.... But I really wish I didn't think like that. I wish I could get all emo over a guy, I wish I could let myself feel that emotion....Get the tingles, fall hopelessly in love with someone. Maybe I haven't met the right guy, maybe I just need to let myself go. I have spent so long building this wall around myself, that I don't think I could cave it in even if I wanted to. But every time I meet a cool guy circumsatnce runs intervention so I never really even get to find out. And it's not like I don't date. I do, a lot. This year I have had a different guy every week...Sometimes more, but I am so damn picky, after like 2 days, I"m just like AHH, get away from me. I think I need to stop looking for perfection. Once again, I don't know! |
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| Anonymous | 04-13-04 3:02am u shouldnt want to fall in love now because it wont last and eventually it will end because its not often that your high school sweethearts stay together and get married, it ends sometime.....and when it does you'll just get hurt and it'll hurt more then u can ever imagine..trust me, you are better off waiting steph....unless u know that the person wont leave you, then dont fall in love because it hurts too much to loose the one person that means the world to you.....
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| werealljaded | Re:, 04-13-04 9:52pm that's the way i look at it too...did you not read my entry? lol
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| Anonymous | empathy, 04-13-04 10:17pm I know how you feel, i see the same people that you do... and it seems like they're everywhere... I think I understand what you want that, but I think you want that when it's real. when the two of you may in fact be in love.... It's hard but, they say that "good things happen to those who wait", and they say that "good things happen to good people"... So if either of those are true, you've got nothing to worry about. I know this isn't much help; but I definately know how you feel, I want that same thing; I want that head-over-heals feelings as well. I'm sure that will happen to you, I just don't know when; but you definately deserve that to happen to you.
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| Anonymous | 04-14-04 2:55pm Its pretty sad that at your age you have already let yourself become a recluse emotionally. Especially when you haven't ever even been in love. I think you are selling yourself short because its worth the hurt to have atleast shared that with someone once. It's like you have jaded yourself out of fear of being hurt. Chalk it up to maturity if you like, but it is still born out of fear. The mature thing to do would be to open yourself up and absorb all there is to know about yourself and others. Looking for perfection is just another sign of your fear of commitment and pain. You purposely make sure that noone can live up to your standards in an attempt to keep people away. Eventually you will learn that this is not a healthy way of life, lets just hope that happens before you are 40 and alone. |
| werealljaded | Re:, 04-15-04 10:00pm who is this? |
Anonymous | Re: Re:, 04-22-04 11:53am Noone important, just browsing and read your post. Thought I'd throw my 2 cents in there. Sorry for the intrusion. |