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| emmyd (profile) wrote, on 4-17-2004 at 6:09pm | |
| Current mood: depressed Music: sum sad shyt Subject: crying again... |
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| "The Dreams That Are Dying, Are The Best That I Have Ever Had" im so sick of everything and everyone why does everything always end up being hopeless... i miss my friends from natick... its funny how they were all so sad wen they found out i was goin to keefe...and said that we would hang out every weekend..and always be together forever...yeaa thats pretty funny...im still waitin for forever to come along.... i mean seriously..i miss them a lot..i dont think they realize that,and i wanna be with them every weekend, but me and katie are always the ones to do sumthing..no1 else wants to...they have all grown away from me and show no signs of comin back...i guess im gunna have to get use to it..its gunna keep on goin...katie always says how things will always get better, lol and i hate wen she says that but yea its very true sumthin will happen that makes me happy..then like the next thing i know...i hate everything, again...i think maybe meetin alex was the good thing to make me happier and shit...and now...this vacation theres nothing to make me happy, except being with katie...i love you katie grace ZOILA rodriguez....i miss you natick..you say you ppl miss me but show no remorse of anything...wat will it take to have ppl show to me that they care about me and love me and miss me...i kno that they shouldnt have to show me...and i should just kno that they care about me..and i use to- but how can i now? they dont even talk to me...do i seriously have to kill myself just to see that happen? thats what i use to think..and look wat i did...i tried to ...no1 cared that much..sum ppl at school did, and katie did (of course lol) so i went to the next thought, to see if i really mattered....wat would happen if suddenly...i was just- gone.. seriously...and never said bye..i just kinda vanished...but while i was gone i got to see what ppl really did and wat they thought..how they reacted... i think about this shit all the time...wen im bored and sad and depressed and shit..i kinda just sit in my room and cry and just think...what if i died? what would ppl do? how would they react?...i dont think its normal to think about yourself dying..but yea i do..get over it.. I cant help how I think, how I feel. and you cant try to change me to think otherwise.... if you have a comment on anything i just wrote...leave one...ill read it..and ill tell you if i care...at least ill show you if i do im going.. goodbye |
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| Anonymous | 04-17-04 6:36pm itz nikki well... fucka u i think ur awsome and i think there just jealous cuz ur so much better than them hahaha and ther all coupyed wit there like...new friendz ig euss people grow apart itz kinda sad and wicked gayness but im alwayz here for u no matta what WOMAN! hah but im alwayz gonna be ur friend no matta WHAT!!
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emmyd | 04-17-04 6:42pm nikki...wow me and you have been friends forever..and never really "grown apart" we went thru stages of like..not bein as close as we used to..but we always end up hangin out again..thats true friends rite there....ur my true gurl forever nikki..muahh much love! |
| Anonymous | i heart u, 04-17-04 7:01pm emily i fucking love you!! and if u ever die i will have to kill myself! and wanna know a scary thing i was thinkin bout that shit today too like wat if i was to die tomarrow... who wud really care and who wud go to my funeral n shit lol im a queer but i thought about it but anyways i love u soo much emily :-) and we will make this vacation the SHIT!!!!!! and i kno u miss everyone maybe we can chill them all too like reunite! im so optimistic lol ok well im gonna go love u!!!!
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emmyd | Re: i heart u, 04-17-04 7:07pm haha katie..i love you too...yea lol the fact that me and you both thought of that today..is kinda scarey..lol shows how much we are alike...lol ur optimistic attitude makes me happy..and ill try to think like that...but it prolly wont happen..sorry to say but i love you |