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| dmlxoxo (profile) wrote, on 4-21-2004 at 5:51pm | |
| Current mood: disappointed Music: empty apartment- yellowcard Subject: "take you away from that empty apartment..." |
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| i got my report card in the mail today. god, if theres one thing that would fuck my week up, i shoulda known it was that---not that it was bad or anything, it was totally fine, just not up to my parents' "standards". my first b+ in spanish ever---they almost died. my mom was yelling at me like crazy, it was awful...and the stupid part is that she makes me believe that thats what im worth....a b+, and even though thats a good grade, she makes me feel stupid---both of them did. and with math, nothing even happened with that grade, i have my solid b for the whole year so far and they were disappointed in that one because they "thought i was going to get a b+", which all of a sudden had become acceptable to them. and in global, i have an a-, which is awesome, but to them, its not acceptable because its less than my usual a. i mean sure, i was a little disappointed when i saw some of my grades dropped, no one likes when that happens, but i wasnt dissatisfied with them, they still managed to stay in my acceptable range, but they didnt exceed my parents' expectations. god that makes me sick, it was awful when my mom was yelling at me....i cried. i dont know why, i wasnt disappointed in myself, but it just reminds me of that day when i got a b on my math test [once again, not bad], but my dad said "you have to do better" and stared me down---once again, even though i saw it as acceptable, the way he said it and how he looked at me made me feel so stupid, like "how the fuck could u get a b and not be distraught danielle?". im not perfect, i dont get a's in everything, and im okay with that, i dont know why they cant be.... .......and what makes me feel even worse is that as all parents do, they see me as perfect, so i know it kills them even more when the imperfections surface. |
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crazyhils44 | 04-24-04 12:41am hey babes i updated-lol i kno u wanted me to---and im sry bout ur parents i kno how hard it is to feel like u've disappointed them...ilu tho xoxoxo |
andy | 04-24-04 12:33pm Your $2.00USD has been received. Thank you. |