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| Izntlifesojuicy (profile) wrote, on 4-25-2004 at 10:01am | |
| Current mood: tired Music: Screaming Infedelities by Dashboard Confessional |
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| well.. i woke up about 2 hours ago but yeah here it wuz yesterday wuz like... well i woke up at 12 and got online to see hoo wuz on.. and i realized i fell asleep last nite while i wuz online talking to AJ, and i felt rly bad.. but o well... n e hoo i tried to start on my ethnic paper, only it didnt go so well and i got wuz the title.. so i started to talk to peoplez online.. i decided to clean my bathroom... and i cleaned the whole damn thing and i realized there was a stain on the rug and on the door and told my mom about it and shez like "o yeah i forgot to tell u i spilled hair dye all over the place.." gee thanx y couldnt she just screw up her own bathroom all the time... but then i called emily and we were talking bout sum stuff and then at like 4 i had to go eat... so i went in my mom's room to watch tv and then i hit myself self and i wuz like stupid u need to be doing ur homework. (i have A LOT) so i brought my algebra homework in there and it wuz perty easy this time.. i think im actually starting to understand the factoring stuff we're doing. this is the only thing the whole year ive had trouble with.. itz hard! i would do 2 problems and then watch the move "blown away" and then aaron lee called... and then i told him i wanted to watch the movie. and once i wuz over.. i stared at the phone and i wanted it to ring but it didnt soo... i remembered that i promised myself i wuz gonna call josh today.. since i havent talked to him in 8 months... every time i call he hangs up once he realizes itz me.. or he gets mary to tell me hez not there or hez out with his "pretend girlfriend" cuz hez such a loser he cant get a real one... im sorry but josh has changed... ever since we broke up hez been an ass... especially at skool.. all he has is he marching band friends, and a few others like jay and steven. but n e wayz i dialed his cell number and blocked the number but no one picked up. and then awhile later i dialed it again and mary answered the phone. and that took me totally off guard cuz i called his cell... and so i wuz like "is ryan.. i mean josh there?" i wuz thinking to myself, "wut the fuck did i say ryan for? thatz so weird... i think itz cuz ive been thinking about him so much but n e wayz... but i think that kinda pissed mary off, that i couldnt even get his name straight (but josh's middle name is ryan.. hmm weird) and she got an attitude and is all "who is this?" "alyssa" and so she gives the phone to marissa (shez like 7) to give to josh and shes like "JOOOSSSHHHH joshie! sumbody on da phone for uuu!" shes so cute and i think i heard him say sumthin in the backround and then he took the phone... AND.... then he hung up. lol... well.. i said fuck rly loud... and just stared at the phone for a minute. i decided to call his cell again but he had turned it off so i left a message on his voicemail.. and i hope he feels like shit once he hears it... i just told him that i missed him and stuff and that it always seems like he doeznt want to talk to me at all n e more and whenever i call he ignores me so i wuz wondering y.. and i said to call me back even tho i knoe hez not... o well... i just dont understand how we could go from how we used to be...like the perfect couple.. to not talking at all... i shared so many things with him that i havent told n e body else and itz like that whole year and 8 days meant absolutely nothing... and all those things he said... he didnt even mean.. and ive heard he even makes fun of me... iwuz talking to jay about it and he wuz telling me hez just an asshole... o well... ryann floyd called me and wanted to knoe if i wanted to go to the movies with her. like on date. lol... well i convinced my mom and then i took a shower and got rdy blahblahblah and we left at 7:30. but when i looked in the mirror i realized my eyes were rly red.. they had been bloodshot all day and i had no idea y.. i looked rly weird... like evil or sumthin lol. we got into the movie theatre (we saw 13 going on 30) and ryann turns around and says alyssa look how people are behing us (there rly wuznt that many but..) then she goes, "carly?" to this gurl sitting behind us.. and shes like "yeah?" "carly?" "yeah hoo r u?" "itz me ryann?" "um.." "carly?" "yeah..." "wutz ur last name?" "sparks" "o sorry wrong carly" ahaha i laughed sooo hard... it wuz weird tho that there wuz another carly hoo looked exactly like her... n e hoo the movie started and me and ryann were talking about going back to skool and being nice to everybody and say hay to everybody we knew.... and to sum we didnt... but n e wayz... the movie wuz soo good!! i cried twice! and i wuz trying to hard not to but i just started bawling and then i started laughing... but 13 going on 30 wuz rly good.. and it got me thinking.. alot.. and i made a decision like on thursday or friday and well... now im kinda thinking back on it...a lot of people have been telling to do this one thing.. but i dunno cuz well my heart and my brain are saying 2 different things... only i cant tell which one is saying which.. i just knoe there r 2 choices and i dont knoe where to go... but n e hoo we came out of the movie and all these ladies were crying and me and ryann were wondering if our eyeliner wuz running cuz we were both crying. aawww... there were these gurls in the bathroom and they look like 10/11 and they were all dressed up looking like hoochies and i wuz like no ma'am... it wuz like 10 o clock and my dad wuz there yet so i got in ryanns car with her dad and mom and we sat there observing people.. and then my dad picked me up and on the way home we were trying to figure out a name for my dads band.. theyre at the recording studio rite now.. my dad used to be in a band when they still lived in new york and they were together for awhile and my dad likes to brag about how they used to open for big bands.. back in the day... er... they were called the stanlees and the other guys wanna go and call the new band that again.. but um no i dont think so and my dad doeznt want to n e way.. i think itz cause his old band members are dead... one got into a car accident and another wut had a drug overdose. i think? i dunoo... ' but i got online at like 10:30 and i wanted to see if AJ wuz online cuz i wanted to talk to him but he wuznt.. so i went to bed. and then i woke up rly early this morning at like 8... and i started to do my home work but then i said fuck it and started playing solitaire again.. my mom made break fast and then when i wuz done eating i came back to my computer and when to ryan's website. i hadnt been there in awhile and i decided to read his journal. since the very beginning.. only i read it out of order. o well... i started crying when i read sum entries so i would have to stop for awhile and then start reading it again... there were sum funnie stuff.. sum stuff i had missed... sum confusing stuff.. sum suspicious stuff.. but a whole lotta stuff that made me rly sad... and i felt rly stupid crying but... o well.. when i wuz done i decided to come and update my journal... and here i am.. but i gotta go finish my homework. i wuz supposed to go to the beach today cuz i LOVE the beach.. but i have too much stuff to do and i have to go out with my mom and get a shawl for my prom dress.. im going to devons "prom" at his skool and we got a limo we're gonna share with 2 other couples and i think itz gonna be rly kool. well tahtah |
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