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| lala91 (profile) wrote, on 4-28-2004 at 11:00pm | |
| Subject: What if i am the way i am forever and there is nothing i can do about it? |
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| reasons, everyone alwayz wants reasons why i am the way i am. honestly, i would like to know myself. so i write about hwta hurts, what feels good, what makes me cry and what makes me feel. i wanty to know why: i cry im screaming silently inside im happy for a moment and then i lose it. im free but i hold back. i hat emyself when i look in the mirror. i drown in self pity. i am ashamed. i hide from everything. i feel more then i can take. and i just really want to know why i am unable to be whole. was i born with a failure inside of me that doesnt allow me to change? i spend my days scared. what if i never change? what if there are no reasons at all? what if im the way i am forever and there is nothing i can do about it. so i look for an answer to make the confusion go away. every day i wake searching with only the hope that someday something will be found that will make this endless longing go away. have you ever wanted something so badd you couldnt breathe?? |
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| Anonymous | 04-29-04 8:12am oh my god. |
| Anonymous | it's me!, 04-30-04 8:51am seems like you change your icons like you change your emotions, flipping and turning depending on monday's mood. seems like nothing's going right, yet nothing's going wrong, so he's out of your reach, you knew you couldn't grasp him. slipping and sliding, i was sure you were hiding, but then you just walked off into the mist, and i said good-bye to you one last final time. so you write these sad songs about his not-so-sad life, with his love flipping her blond hair, yet you haven't exactly made an effort because you and him have so much history, so much future.
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lala91 | Re: it's me!, 04-30-04 10:28pm it has abs0lutley n0thing t0 d0 wit chris.. itz a poem fr0m seventeen mag's june iss. and i th0ught it was a really g0od p0em.. cant i p0st a p0em without being b0thered by chris. g0d im sick 0f it.. we're friends.. understand? |
lala91 | Re: it's me!, 04-30-04 10:28pm it has abs0lutley n0thing t0 d0 wit chris.. itz a poem fr0m seventeen mag's june iss. and i th0ught it was a really g0od p0em.. cant i p0st a p0em without being b0thered by chris. g0d im sick 0f it.. we're friends.. understand? |
| Anonymous | 04-30-04 8:58pm is this bout chris cuz i still think you like him n by the way this isnt calli i know you guyz are friends now |
lala91 | Re:, 04-30-04 10:31pm like i sed.. itz n0t ab0ut chris and n0 i d0nt like it.. f0rget it ill 0nly p0st gay b0ring stuff in mah j0urnal fr0m n0w 0n..
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thoughtskill | Re: Re:, 06-09-04 8:45pm Dont say mean stuff bout my babii sister !! that was really cute and it wasnt about chris..kaylas not obsessed with him like u obviousily are with her.. and even if it is bout hiim she can post what ever the hell she wants to in HER jurnal, you on the other hand dont have to read it... do u think the cares what u think??
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