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| TaoMan1121 (profile) wrote, on 4-29-2004 at 4:22am | |
| Current mood: open Music: The Wallflowers - Bleeders Subject: once upon a time, they called me the bleeder... |
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| OK, so before, I babble on for a bit about this intense day that I've had... here's a snippet from a conversation between Amanda and Joe (under my screen name) that pretty much sums everything up: Fanelia12 (12:44:28 AM): so have you guys done anything BESIDES get drunk? lol TaoMan1121 (12:44:35 AM): Not yet. OK, I feel better now that that's out in the open... There's these two categories of people. FIRST, understand that there is no one better group than the other, but of course, I am going to be biased towards the group that I'm a part of. These groups are the people who feel too much, and the rest who don't. These people who wear their hearts out on their sleeves looking for that magical "one" who will take them far away and ease all their worries, etc. etc. They are so wonderfully compassionate and true and sympathetic you can't help but feel so awfully bad for them when they can't find what they are looking for. It's what we are all looking for, that other person that completes us, some are just more adament about it than others. The problem is that the fact that they feel so much more leads them to a place where they are much more likely to feel an immense amount of pain by allowing themselves to "bleed" for others, in most situations towards those who would never bleed the same for them in return. I use to be a "bleeder" and in many ways I still am, but everything's different now, and I feel like I'm stuck in the middle between these two groups, trying to ease the suffering of the ones who are dying slowly without the one that they believe will complete them, and those who just can't be concerned w/ any of this. I want to tell the people who are too focused on themselves to get a grip and bring themselves to a larger picture, and at the same time, bring the "bleeders" out of their stupor and give them a basis of belief in themselves so they can find a firm backbone to live their life w/out dying for another. Show them what I have learned, the all-so-new knowledge that I'm holding onto for dear life. By the way, it's not going to leave me, but just the thought that it could terrifies me. Anyway, this isn't about me. This is completely off topic, but thank you SO very much for that info. I finally feel like we are an equal footing... I know what I'm dealing with here, not that it really means anything anyway, but it's nice to know. Best of all, it simply reaffirms everything that I had already known already. My inituation fucking rocks... I am so smart, I am so smart, S A M R T... DOH! I mean, if I was right about this, hell, I could have been and probably was right about everything else. Go me! I'm so damn blessed and lucky and rationale right now, I could puke. Listening to two of my closest friends spout their troubles and their pain out onto me, listening to another repeatedly drunkingly reaffirm their love for me, re-realizing everything that I absolutely cherish about my life (e.g. windy late-night drives, X-Files), holding onto my pain and my grudges and my needs and my wants but giving them up at the end of the day, knowing that I'm going to see my parents tomorrow, optimistic of the many opportunities on the horizon, all this fucking bullshit, it just makes me come to the conclusion that... I'm really hungry. --------------------------------------------------------- I should really change my e-mail address. It doesn't apply anymore. --------------------------------------------------------- Are you learning anything from this? You better be, you've got long to go... You have no idea what I'm talking about, I'm sure, but don't worry... you will someday |
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polishpimping | 04-29-04 10:39am How can you not be... You make vast generalizations, that in hind sight can't help being interputed as anything but true.
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Fanelia | Re:, 04-29-04 12:51pm Generalizations....?
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TaoMan1121 | Re: Re:, 04-29-04 2:44pm Change is good... and I'm glad we were able to be there for you. |
michellestar | Re:, 04-29-04 5:37pm Um, I do believe that it was a "fat little white nazi stormtrooper" Micheal. Get it right biaatch. ^_^ Love ya. Good thing it wasn't a marriage question, eh? |
Jaganshi | Re:, 04-29-04 6:00pm Was Clive Bruckman's Final Repose on and I missed it? |
polishpimping | Re: Re:, 04-30-04 5:19pm Clive (Clide) Bruckman's Final Repose is always on in my head... |
polishpimping | Re: Re:, 04-30-04 5:20pm Clive (Clide) Bruckman's Final Repose is always on in my head... |
michellestar | Re: Re: Re:, 04-30-04 8:12pm Ooooo, foiled again Micheal...it's CLYDE Bruckman.
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Fanelia | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 04-30-04 11:11pm You better not go around correcting MY spelling next year you crazy mofo or I'll through it DOWN....
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polishpimping | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-01-04 12:18am I believe the word you were looking for is "throw"
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michellestar | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-01-04 8:17pm I love our hijack of Jason's comments in his journal. And yes...I AM the X-Files nazi. Spell it wrong or make a wrong reference and you're a dead motherf-er. ^_^
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brutisimo | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-01-04 11:45pm I can't believe i just read all of that crap...i am dumber now, thanx guys |
polishpimping | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-01-04 11:51pm Don't thank me, thank Jason's Hi-jacked replies.... |
michellestar | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-02-04 1:19am Wow...that's a lot of Re's. Makes me kinda tingly. |
Fanelia | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-02-04 7:26pm Mike, you're just not about the joke getting lately are you? I spelled 'throw' wong on PURPOSE...
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Fanelia | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-03-04 2:57pm *takes not that she spelled 'wrong' wrong too. How ironic...* |
| syrk1 | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-03-04 8:33pm Amanda..did you noticed you forgot the "e" on "note"....lol
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Fanelia | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-04-04 4:43pm Of course. ;-)
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michellestar | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-04-04 8:01pm LoL, this post hurts my head. I don't know when someone is joking or not.
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Fanelia | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 05-06-04 3:42pm Craaaaaaaaaaaaazy maaaaaaaaaaaan |