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moana (profile) wrote,
on 5-14-2004 at 3:18pm
Subject: ARABIC BEEBOL!
You are an Arab if...

1. You say "bolice" for "police" and.
2. You inherited or will inherit land in your home country.
3. You brag about your kids even if they are bad.
4. Your spouse is also your first cousin.
5. Your dad eats mensef with his hands and forces his son to "join the men."
6. You're fat and blame it on the kids, or you're bald and blame it on the
stress.
8. Your aunt asks you when she can dance at your wedding.
9. You smoke as if it were your last day on earth...and you only
smoke MARLBOROS.
10. You wear more cologne than deodorant.
11. You pronounce "comfortable" cun-fort-a-bull.
12. You say the letter "h" like "etch."
13. You put olive oil in and on everything and brag about how healthy it is.
14. You gossip about your own family...with members of your own family.
15. You have more then 4 kids.
16. You eat humus at least 4 times a week.
17. You cook a meal that lasts 3 days.
18. You talk crap about the abeed, but love them when they buy from you.
19. At parties, you think it's cool to dance and smoke at the same time.
20. You pity anyone who is not an Arab and think all other cultures are morally
corrupt.
21. You have fruit trees in your backyard and when they are in season you live
on them.
22. You don't use the word "tease" in English cause you feel weird.
23. You watch the hell out of the Arabic channel and talk crap about the rest.
24. Your father swears at you with words that effect himself.
25. You have 500,000,000 cousins.
26. At weddings it takes the bride and groom 4 hours to kiss all the guests.
27. You "get down" from the car instead of "getting out" of it.
28. You act like you want to pay, but in reality you hate to pay.
29. You have a gold necklace of your name written in Arabic.
30. You own and/or play a tubleh
31. Your middle name is your father's first name.
32. If you are male, you're named after your grandfather or great-grandfather.
33. You play cards till the break of dawn.
34. You never run out of bizzer.
35. You can't have a meal without bread.
36. You get offended when Americans call Arabic bread "Pita bread,"
37. If you are an Arab woman, you dye your hair an obviously fake shade of
blonde that is nonexistent in nature and swear that it's natural.
38. You feel proud when someone famous or a celebrity has any Arabic blood in
them.
39. You teach your American friends Arabic words (mostly bad ones) and get
Happy when they use them in normal conversations.
40. Your Mom has a creative nick name for you like Susu, Natoosheh, or
Tuntooneh."
41. You have a difficult Arabic name so you come up with an Americanized
version of it like "Sam" or "Mike."
42. You have someone tell you your fortune through your coffee cup.
43. You love Um Kalthoom and if you don't, your dad makes you listen to her and
tries to translate the words into English so you can appreciate her as much as
he does.
44. Three or more relatives live in your neighborhood.
45. If you're a single Arab guy, you tell women you're a "successful
businessman" or that you "own a successful business back home" even if you're
an unemployed goat herder.
46. Your favorite food is warag dawali, but you are embarrassed to tell your
friends that you eat leaves for dinner.
47. You get really happy and call the whole familyto the room when there is a
special or documentary on Arabs or anything Arab-related on CNN or PBS.
49. You have a uni-brow...and if you don't, you pluck it.
50. You bump Arabic music at all times!
Post A Comment

cowboy67

fabulous, 05-14-04 4:05pm

lots of those made me laugh cuz i know quite a few arabic people. now, what about the dubke dance? i've been introduced to the dubke and it's definitely fun stuff, especially the white hankerchief part! of course i couldn't really do it when i tried, but i still think it's great.

(reply to this)

moana

Re: fabulous, 05-15-04 1:10am

haha some of them made me laugh, some because they're stereotypes, and some because they're so bloody true...

about the dabkeh, i think this list is more khaleejee (gulf region) than it is arab in general. the dabkeh is lebanese, syrian, palestinian, and had nothing to do really with khaleej, it's from what we call blad il sham. i don't know how to dabkeh either, altho i do think it's totally fun and extremely entertaining. you'd think i'd learn, my mother being labanese and all, bust she doesn't know it either! ah well. what you gonna do?

(reply to comment)

cowboy67

Re: Re: fabulous, 05-15-04 11:07am

wow i have a lot to learn! don't i feel silly now....

*hides in corner*

(reply to comment)

moana

Re: Re: Re: fabulous, 05-15-04 11:13am

*petting* don't feel silly, no one knows enough about arabs, not even old arab people. it makes me wonder how there's so much culture in such a comparitively small amount of people.

(reply to comment)

moana

05-15-04 1:38am

51. you think everyone but you is a bad driver and then blame it on the "foreigners"

52. you know which end of a shawarma you're supposed to eat first

53. you and only you know the difference between a boy and a man

54. you can create over a hundred styles to wrap your qitra around your head for different occasions

55. you wear a gahfiya at home, and think a mkasar is a substitute for underwear

56. you insult everybody's parents, even your own brothers and sisters

57. most of your insults are sentence fragments

58. you keep telling people that the english numbers are actually arabic, and that the ones the arabs use now are indian (but arabs STILL invented the numbers that are internationally used today)

59. you think numbers are just an extention of the alphabet (9a7 wela la2?)

60. you can cheat on any card game better than most casino dealers

61. your maid has a mobile fone

62. you driver has a mobile fone

63. your eight year old brother has a mobile fone

64. "black" and "white" can be used to describe your face when talking about pride

65. you use terms like "your face cut (inga9 wayhik)" and "you dropped half of your self (6a7 ni9ik)" as banter and joking

66. when someone's fly is open you tell them their store is open

67. you do most of your shopping in baqalas

68. you laugh at anyone who doesn't KNOW what a baqala is

69. men are skinnier than women

70. if you're a girl, dancing consists of "walking back and forth with style" (i got that from you andy)

(reply to this)
barney

Re:, 05-16-04 2:22pm

dont forget:
. Raccoon Makeup
. you're convinced the whole world is against you, even though you're insulting them
. you're working on convincing half of the world's population to convert to islam
. (via. nada's stalker) you almost get deported and banished from an entire huge country like canada.

i know how to dabkeh!!! i'll teach!

(reply to comment)
hellborn

Re:, 05-19-04 2:34pm

dude.

classic!


(reply to comment)

chynadoll

05-17-04 1:43pm

LOLOLOLOL OH MAN

(reply to this)