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fallenfaces (profile) wrote,
on 5-15-2004 at 3:13pm
Music: Bright Eyes -Saturday as usual
Subject: I need something to fill up the days.
I'm sorry. I have no one to talk to or write to. So here I am. Don't bother reading this. I'm just going insane. Every day i feel myself leave my skin more and more. I don't know what to do anymore, what to say, what to think, where I'm going, what I'm doing wrong.. I blocked everyone on MSN, except two people or the people that never talk to me. Pulling myself away seems right.

I'm stuck here, and I don't even know where 'here' is. I'm one of those kids, you know the one who sits home on the weekends, with nothing to do.

I could be like him and bitch about people not keeping plans..when in reality he doesn't care. I'm so fucking important to him. I'm so sure. I'm so important to him that I mean nothing. I'm so important that it doesn't matter if I'm going to miss him. So important that when i was paying attention to him all he was thinking about was how others weren't. It's so frustrating. Why do I even bother.. and let it get to me? I shouldn't. But I do. I hope he finds more girls that are "so fucking hot" to make his day. Even though he's the one who said "It's not all about looks, the personailty is what draws us in." Bullshit.

I'm just like a little kid. Stubborn and stupid.
[edit; I realized my fadingfallenstar journal is me hiding. It's me, only fake. Only my happy thoughts. It's not me at all. This is. How terribly sad. So i guess what im saying is..I'm just a whiny little girl. Sad huh?]
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this-acoustic-love

05-15-04 4:49pm

first of all, you always have someone to talk to, because you can ALWAYS, i repeat ALWAYS call me. Always.
Second, hes being an ass and when hes an ass and it hurts you, it pisses me off. a lot

i better not be blocked on your msn, biatch.

sometimes, i feel like you dont even really want to tell me things, and that you dont really want to see me on the weekends. because.

it always seems on monday you have these stories from the weekend from hanging out with kate, or james, or previously lisa or whoever... and it never seems like i fit into your schedule...

just kinda of wondering.

-mishy
<3



(reply to this)


fallenfaces

Re:, 05-15-04 5:10pm

You're not blocked, and you never were.

I know I can talk to you, you're one of the few people I tell things to. I trust you with everything I have, because you have never fucked me over and i know you won't.

I don't mean to push you out on the weekends, at all. It sucks because you live farther away, and usually your with Molly, Matt, or Ryan.. which is fine, and last week I tried to make plans but you were busy.. anyways.. no worries, we'll be able to hang out a lot this summer, and when we have cars, I'll never be home, because we'll be at shows n such.

Don't underestimate your importance, i love you.

(reply to comment)


this-acoustic-love

Re: Re:, 05-15-04 5:11pm

*hugs*

okay. just know that whenever you call me, id drop anything if you needed me, and even if you didnt.

<3love you

(reply to comment)


fallenfaces

Re: Re: Re:, 05-15-04 5:12pm

i know.

:)

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