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| swissarmyromance (profile) wrote, on 5-17-2004 at :04am | |
| Current mood: confused Music: Matchbook Romance- Lovers and Liers Subject: The stars are not out tonight, but neither are we to look up to them |
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| Friday night i got home and all my little sisters friends were over. And Nick. Nick's this cute kid that my little sis has had a crush on for forever. I walked into the living room and asked the girls if they could keep it down a bit because i had to get up early the next morning and Sarah was all like "uh no now leave us alone" and nick was like "Sarah! thats your sister be nice" and then all the other girls chimed in and i was like awww thanks nick. He can be a real nice kid at times and then there are times he can be a jerk. (im friends with his oldest brother steve) well yea i went to bed around 11 but didnt fall asleep until 12ish because i just layed there thinking about things, mostly Sammy and Kyle. I miss them both terribly and whenever my mind wanders I seem to think about one of them. I swear to god im going to end up getting married to Kyle, hes like perfect. Except for the fact that he lives like a million miles away. Im glad we still keep in contact tho because hes always there when i need him most and he is the sweetest guy i have ever met. *sigh* i cant wait until i see him next. I just need to see his face again. I really think that i still have feelings for sam though. I was talking to him today and he said something to me like "ya know i love you" or something and i lost it. I was crying my eyes out. Thank god the kids were sleeping. I still think it was best for us to break up though. I mean we had a really unhealthy relationship. but there are times when i cant help but think what would have happend if we hadnt broken up in October. Then again i never would have had the gut to hook up with kyle that one week when we were on vacation but i dont know anymore. I feel like something really big is missing in my life. Brian always jokes around and says "you just need to get laid" haha. what a loser. yea ive been babysitting since 6.30 this morning and the parents come home around midnmight tonight. Nate Mike and John stopped by and annoyed the hell out of me. I was about ready to start crying again because they were messing up the house after i just cleaned it and they were making the kids all crazy and stuff. And then they were saying some really unappropriate things in front of the little kids. they were making me so angry and being so immature. I mean Mike wasnt that bad at all, he usually isnt but Nate and John were driving me up the wall. they finally left and then i finished giving the girls a bath and they are watching the wiggles right now. I am about to put them to bed and then hopefully have someone come visit me again? I dont like being alone when im feeling this way, my mind wanders too much.... well i think im done for now....i dont think im going to be ready to date for a while though, i need to figure myself out first i think, no matter how much i really really really want a boyfriend. Someone i can talk to and who understands me and to share everything with. But hah, like theres going to be a guy (other than kyle) that will have all those things.... -cassie*lou- it was the first time in my life, yea the first time in my life, where i did something right And rest assured I miss you |
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| Anonymous | Hey, 05-28-04 1:34am It's Ryan! boo |
| Anonymous | most of randomness, 07-09-04 6:16am Not to completely set you off the rocker on your tight rope your trying to balance.....anyway....you said you feel like something BIG is missing form your life....this might seem really OUT there but try focusing on other parts of your life besides the guys in it! Not meant to come off mean, just what i thought reading your entry! |