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| sadsongsnmyhead87 (profile) wrote, on 5-22-2004 at 1:04pm | |
| Current mood: crushed Music: "Runaway" by Linkin Park |
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| I hate change...yesh. Change. The type of change that chances upon people between their middle school selves and their high school selves. The high school atmosphere changes in a lot of people, so much so that you don't recognize them anymore; they're a whole new person. But, why? Why does it change? Is it to look cool in front of the upper classmen? Or is it just some powerful force of nature and instinct that makes everyone just so. Either way...I hate it. I want to know where all my middle school friends went. They're all lost in the high school experience, whereas I'm on the outside, watching. Will it all stay like this till the day we die? Or will it yet change again in college? The way the school hierarchy works really screwed our minds this time. I mean, okay. This is how this came about. Couple nights ago, two of my friends were at each other's throats. It was horrible. The things my friend, who is younger than me by a year, said really got me thinking. I won't quote anything from it...it's just that, I was thinking, "Is this friendship really worth fighting for and holding onto?" *sighs* I just don't know anymore. It's from here on out that I've decided not to open myself up to anyone anymore. I just end up getting myself hurt again and it's just not worth it. I mean, who really would want to be my friend anyway. I'm too static and invisible for people to understand me, let alone want to understand me. I guess, in the end, I'm more selfish than anyone could imagine. |
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| Anonymous | 05-25-04 8:44pm We're all more selfish then we would like to admit or allow people to imagine so we build up are facades and lock away who we are- secretly hoping someone will see through our walls. Someone that we could care for as a close friend. Someone who would know us for us- yet at the same time never wanting anyone to know how we really are.
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| Anonymous | 01-21-05 7:13pm Sarah Akane Kakusho you have become one of the best friends i have at the moment so i just want you to know that if anything EVER happened to you i would feel lost....yes even more lost than i already am...gasp i know...it takes me quite a while to learn to teust people and you are one of the only ones for a long time...dont be so hard on yourself hun im here for you forever and always...
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