| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| m&ms487 (profile) wrote, on 5-24-2004 at 6:45pm | |
| Current mood: listless |
|
| So many things have changed these past few weeks. I'm growing up, and my parents don't like it. I have a boyfriend, my driver's license, a first chair, a beautiful piccolo, some fake tanning lotion, and a straightening iron. There is no telling what kind of damage I could do with all those combined. Everything is going so fast, yet, not fast enough it seems sometimes. I've done things in the past weeks that I didn't think I could ever let myself do. It's a changing time, and I realize it. It scares the hell out of me. I don't want to end up like some of the people I know, and yet I find myself doing things, and thinking of them at the same time, knowing exactly where my actions could take me, into a place, into a life, that I don't want to go. I've been living for the moment, not really planning ahead that much, which is dangerous for me, because when I get to a point in time that I haven't planned for, things can get hectic, and I find myself lost, and unprepared. I think that's one of the things I hate the most, being unprepared. It shows a sign of vulnerablity. Today was the last monday of my sophmore year that I have to be in school. It was so difficult to play in first hour, and then to react to everything else the rest of the day. It was a long long long day. Mrs. Dolbee gave out "The Grapes Of Wrath" today, I believe I'll be starting that tonight when I go to bed. It'll give me something else to dream about, too, not that my dreams lately have been all that horrible, either, they just make me think to much sometimes, and question the big picture. Sometimes I don't want to think, i just want to go along with everything. I just want to get by. |
|
| Post A Comment |
| Anonymous | 05-24-04 9:54pm Just be careful. Don't do anything against what your heart tells you to do. But listen to your head too. |
napkins | 05-26-04 6:25pm screw it all, do what ya want |