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| glitterkisses (profile) wrote, on 5-25-2004 at 9:37pm | |
| Current mood: content Music: Dashboard Confessional-For Justin Subject: |
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| I can’t believe this year is already almost over. These past three or four weeks I have been so excited, and today it actually dawned on me that I’m not going to see you people, well most of you anyway for a long time from now. A long time that people always happen to change in, and become a lot different. This entire year all I’ve said is this year was one of the worst years that I have ever had, I cried more than I smiled, I complained more than I was filled with excitement, and fought with more people than I ever have in my life. For the most part up until now I’ve just wanted to forget this year, learn from it and move on. Now, I see there were so many good things that came from it, and it could have been a lot worse than I claim it was. In the beginning of the year I was still unsure of myself, still doubtful as to who I was because up until this year I’ve changed who I was depending on who I was hanging out with. Not my real self consitantly. Then I started to see that it doesn’t matter, and the less and less I cared. Mostly because of certain people. The people who have always been there for me, the friends I know to always be true to my heart when I ask them to be. And the friends that have made me miserable. Without them too, I would still be a step backwards to who I use to be. I’m not saying I’ve changed more than ever, but greatly I most certainly have. This entire year I had been looking for something I thought that I needed, and basically screwed myself over trying to get it. I lost a lot of things, and gained so much in return. I lost a year, or the state of mind for a long time, letting myself hurt way more than I should have. I’m just glad it happened now, because you can’t truly know what real happiness is if you’ve never known what real sadness is…and I have. I learned trust is just something that can be thrown around, and it has to be earned and sometimes once it’s been taken away, it’s gone …for good and there is nothing you can do but see where you went wrong and try not to stumble next year. More than ever people have changed me, the way they always do. Phil, Dylan, Jacki, Heather, Kendra, Tyler, Lauren, Katy, Amanda, Susan, Steve, Mike, Tony, Caleb, Devon, Janie, Lindsey, Brandee, Trisha, Dan, Kevin, Katie Jo, Andrew, Brianna, JD, and if I forgot you I’m really sorry, it’s not because you’re not important it’s because I’m just dumb and have a bad memory. Ashley has shown me how to let go, to just live life with a smile one your face, a laugh out loud, and to just be you. I can’t begin to describe how glad I am we met in New York, but the girl brings out a side of my no one does. Willma is guaranteed to be the one person , the only person to make me truly laugh until I’m crying when I’m having a bad day. He’s my best friend, he has the biggest heart, and I love him to death. Amy has been the complaining ear that always listens to my bitching. Heh. She understands because she’s been there, and understands that saying you don’t care and it doesn’t matter is a lot harder than actually really feeling that way. She cares because she can relate. Shannon is always and will always be the sweetest friend I have. Everything she does, the way she laughs the way she smercks, the way she talks is always so cute. She can’t be mean, and always is the biggest sweetheart to everyone and I love her for it. Kate brings out the crazy side to me. Which also brings out the part of me that doesn’t care about all the dumb stuff. She’s the only friend that I can get that crazy with and still actually talk to , and have a real conversation with, or cry with. I love everything about the way she shows me what I have deep down inside of me. Andy because no matter how much he makes me sick seeing how he can just act the way he does, I’ll always still somehow see him in the back of mind as who he use to be, and as much as I want too, for his sake..I can never let that image go. Cassie because after so long she is still one of the best people to keep me sane. To show me when I’m messing up, and that I don’t need to change because the way I am is the way people love me already. Linds because the girl good lord can make me laugh and is the bubblest girl I know. I don’t know where I would be without that girl. Her heart is so genuine and real, shes my best friend I run too when I need a good talk, shes one of my bestfriends period. Devon because somehow we always manage to be okay, and she always somehow manages to give me a sense of pride that no one else gives me. And because I know that she is truly a good person. And of course Jess, my bestfriend in the entire world, she’s a part of my family, and her house is my second home. No one understands me better than she does, not even myself. A bestfriend is someone who knows all about you and loves you anyway and there is nothing I hide from her, nothing she doesn’t see, nothing she doesn’t heart, nothing she doesn’t know. Without her my life would be the darkest place, and I would never and could never be the same person I am today. Almost every good thing about me I get from her, she makes me want to be the best person I can be, and she’ll never know what she means to me, because without her, I don’t know what I would do, or where I would be, so I’m thankful I’ll never have to deal with that. |
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PHIL-HIMSELF | 05-25-04 9:52pm I didn't know I changed people all the time. I must be some kind of super natural being! |
glitterkisses | Re:, 05-27-04 7:32pm Some kind....it's possible. |
.j.e.s.s. | 05-25-04 10:17pm i love you jess. that means a lot. thank you. i dont know what i'd do without you either. |
glitterkisses | Re:, 05-27-04 7:41pm You'd be lost without me too lol ;) |
| Anonymous | 05-26-04 5:38pm :( ........maybe we aren't as close as I thought. I mean I know we have talked alot lately but I mean, I would never forget you. I guess that is all I have to say.
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glitterkisses | Re:, 05-27-04 7:42pm Shea sweetie, I did write about you babe. Lol you just gotta read it a tad bit closer hun. Lol you're so funny, I love it. I'll call ya later, lov ya-Jess |
Anonymous | Re: Re:, 05-27-04 11:15pm My bad I look like a real ass now but I swore I didn't read anything like that yesterday. Well I love being sweet it's so fun. I have been told that I am sweet by someone ealse too! lol
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lilschaub | 05-26-04 6:49pm hell yeah we get crazy!! lol Love you. |
glitterkisses | Re:, 05-27-04 7:43pm hehe we need to get crazy tomorrow night! I'm thinking party? hell yeah! lol call me later. lov ya |