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| FreakishIYK (profile) wrote, on 5-25-2004 at 9:57pm | |
| Current mood: uncomfortable Music: sugarcult-hate every beautiful day Subject: didn't work... |
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| Remember in my last entry I said I'd try and play it off as if I didn't remember the.....uhh thing? I figured if I told him I didn't remember, he'd realize it was nothing and forget about it.....nope, he just told me. I feel so guilty about this now...I feel like I'm helping him cheat. Monday he picked me up and we went to the movies with Danny, and Andrew. I told him I thought this was wrong, but he kept telling me to not worry about it because it's him doing this....BULLSHIT! I'm doing it too, I'm to blame too because I haven't tried my hardest to stop it.....why haven't I? Is it because I like the attention?...But in the movies he kissed me this time...it was weird. And if he didn't have a girlfriend I might of enjoyed it....but oh God this is wrong! Today he wanted to hang out again but I couldn't, so ya know what he did? He drove all the way over here anyway to just say hi...well in his words was "to get a hug and a kiss on the cheek" This is wrong, this is so wrong....it's driving me crazy. I tell myself I gotta stay away, that this is bad....but when we hang out, I feel almost comfortable. I told him about some of my mental issues...I've never really told anyone about that and had them completely understand....(I tried to tell my Mom once but she kinda laughed because she didn't believe me) But one good thing is that I didn't do that other bad thing again (the thing on Saturday). It was so stupid...I can feel like that when I get my dizzy spells or feel light headed almost. God, Billy would kill me if I told him...don't think I'd blame him. Ashley was pissed about it too. Well, I'm tired...I've got two exams tomorrow. Thank God I don't have to wake up until 8. I only have 2 and half days of school left...maybe 1 and a half...I dunno if I'll go Friday....we'll see. Until then all...bye byes |
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| Anonymous | 05-26-04 1:24am kill you if he found out about what? |
malicsadat | 05-27-04 11:22am hey mandy. again, i don't know what all hapened, but i'm sorry. i wish i oculd just give you a huge hug. it sounds like you could use one. hey, take care. i miss you. it's been a wile since i saw you. well adu` |
| Anonymous | hmmm, 05-27-04 5:30pm hmmm ... what are the chances that TWO anonymous posts are both "not" bill?
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