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| werealljaded (profile) wrote, on 5-27-2004 at 12:28am | |
| Subject: i'm tired of being the fool |
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| tomarrow is my graduation, and i hate how everyone is making such a big deal out of it. if i had a choice, i would just get the bitch sent in the mail so i don't have to go. matt is going, not sure if it's a good or bad thing yet.. i mean, i guess it's cute that he WANTED to go, i mean, he brought up him going in the first place, i didn't ask... but in the same sense, my family is crazy and he has to sit with them for a few hours. everyone thinks i am a fool for getting into this situation, matt has even called me a fool. well, i don't want to be that fool anymore. but it's been foolish for a while now, that it's hard to get out of it, and when i bring it up= he gets pissed. i think i need to back away, or something. i am sick of his "i'm sorries"- well bitch, actions speak louder then words and the i'm sorries are only believable for so long before you start to think they're empty words. i am sick of empty words and broken promises. as a girl, i read WAYYY to into things, so everything he says, i over analyze everything. we are starting to get short with each other. maybe we need to stop hanging out so much. it's weird, the first ime around, i wanted to hang out all teh time and he was all like "we don't NEED to see each other every day" and now.. he WANTS to hang out every day. it's great and all, but i think i am gettin gon his nerves, and i REALLY don't want him to get sick of me and visa versa...and i REALLY don't want to get bored, which i tend to reach that point easily. i dont know, he just seems short tempered toward me lately... like i joke around and he thinks i really am pissed. maybe he is getting sick of me, i hope i dont get sick of him. i am really afraid about that. and the whole situation just sucks, i honestly dont think i have ever teared so much over a guy.. i'm such a typical chick now! i just hate being like this, i HATE caring about someone, and i honestly wish i didn't. everythign would be so much easier if i didn't give a fuck. i wish i could not... i wish i could not care if he gets sick of me, or if he is with someone else, or if he cares about me, i wish i didnt know all of his fucking favorite foods and weird habbits. i wish i could not be hurt by him... |
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| Anonymous | babycakes, 05-27-04 12:56pm babycakes - i may have warned you abou this. do NOT hang out with him crazy-like my last 2 relationships in the shithole because of it. i know how much you care, and his actions do suck but you have to decide head or heart with that matter. he shouldnt get angry you have a right to know you are IN the situation. thats cute hes going to your graduation but im a little upset with the kinda "seriousness" of the relationship. he wants to be there without the title it sounds like and you have to think if you want that as well you know? dont have an ongoing war with yourself (ah self dont over analyze) we are bitches thats how we work, guys do it too but over stupider shit then us. and i love you. graduation is a big deal you will realize that one day! ok and be careful what you wish for.. if you couldnt be hurt by him you wouldnt learn you know? all life is, is lessons - shitty aint it?! well i love you and sry for such a long comment but i thought this called for a little bit of preaching - <3 babycakes |
Anonymous | Re: babycakes, 05-27-04 12:57pm yeah i said i love you twice... wanna make out?! LOL SHOT |
| werealljaded | Re: babycakes, 05-28-04 12:12am honestly, prescilla- you fucking rock. come cuddle! |