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| glitterkisses (profile) wrote, on 6-3-2004 at 8:23pm | |
| Current mood: disappointed Music: Seether-Broken Subject: |
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| So school's over, and I'm not really happy, I'm not really sad, more so just relieved. This year has been the worse year I think I can remember, and I just want to forget about it. Maybe not forget, but move on. Then again I'm afraid the summer is going to make it more complicated. I can tell that I hate work already. Tomorrow I have to work from 7 in the morning till 5 in the afternoon, and I don't even like anyone there. ughh oh well, it pays, that's all that matters. I'll deal with it. I just wanted you to know, I love the way you laugh. I want to hold you high, and steal your pain. Cos I'm broken, when I'm open. And I let you get away. I don't feel strong enough ..anymore. The worst is over, we can breathe now. I only hope. You don't even see how you make me feel. I feel like nothing I do is good enough for either one of you. I try so hard to please you, to the point where I just feel like giving up, where I just don't see the point anymore. You never come to support me in anything, unless you count showing up at a softball game, just to leave 10 minutes later. I don't know if you've realized, but not once in my life have I ever heard the words "I'm proud of you" come out of either of your mouths. You want me to open up to you, to tell you things, but how can I when you look down on me for everything? Things you dont even know, better yet understand. I look at how you treat him, and it makes me sick to my stomach because I know how selfish he is, and I do everything you ask of me, and still you don't trust me, you still act like I've done everything to make you question my motives. I just can't take it anymore. I don't even want to talk to you , or look at either you when I'm home. I just want to be in a different room than you, I just want to ignore every word you say to me, so I don't take the chance of letting something get me down, because I don't need any of it, espically from my own parents. I think this was the first year I wasn't too concerned about saying goodbye to people, because I just want to get away from everyone. I think when I'm not happy, I run away from people and I run away from my problems, causing more. ehh..I dunno, I'll see everybody again next year. I'm not too concerned. I said goodbye to Lindsey, cos I'll hardly talk to her all summer, but that's it. Promise me that when I can't find the strength to pick myself up, when I have nothing left but tears, that you'll be there. I know you always say you will be, and I always think you to be honest, just please promise me. Well next week me and Jess are going to Cedar Point, god I cannot wait! I look forward to Cedar Point all summer! It's mine and Jess's tradition now. 3 years! But this year I don't think we'll put the fake tanning to use. Lol, to say the least. I love you. |
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.j.e.s.s. | 06-03-04 9:54pm "Promise me that when I can't find the strength to pick myself up, when I have nothing left but tears, that you'll be there. I know you always say you will be, and I always think you to be honest, just please promise me."
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Glitterkisses | Re:, 06-04-04 4:37pm I love that you know me too well :) |