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| THEhairybeast (profile) wrote, on 6-7-2004 at 9:20pm | |
| Current mood: bipolar Music: thursday -- full collapse Subject: full collapse |
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| ok this is crazy _ im seriously goin bipolar or sumthin bc i was fine all weekend while sam kelly and eric were here.. then sunday it was me and sam.. once again FINE.. happy.. w/e.. then she left around..2?.. and i was fine till like 4 sumthin i think i was readin sumthin that was pissin me off then my step mom came in and was botherin me..just all of the sudden everythin was annoyin the shit out of me.. and i got like crazy ass mood swings.. and all day today i was pissed off.. at.. i dont even know what.. just sumthin bc i deff was pissed.. at like..the world.. and i really dont know what it was that ticked me off.. and im still pissed.. ah its crazy bc i really dont know what the hell is botherin me sooo god damn much.. and everyone keeps askin whats wrong and either giving up or gettin mad bc i keep sayin 'idk' cus i dont.. i mean if i fuckin knew dont you think id tell at least ONE person?.. idk ..im real.. lost like theres soo much shit ive been thinkin about within the past 24 hrs just.. STUFF..that i normally think about but not all at once constantly for hours..its just.. out of control.. and ill pissed..yeah.. but then ill think about sumthin and go off into thoughts.. i daze out into space like crazy now.. but anyway ill go off thinkin about sumthin good..then nice..and i catch myself tryin to smile and it just wont come out..then i go back to bein pissed..ugh its so confusing.. i feel angry at anything and everything that i come into contact with.. i just..idk why.. it feels like all the hate i have is building up and im gonna have to let it out on someone soon.. real soon.. i cant hit nobody so ill idk..ill like go play baseball with my dad or sumthin.. get away for a day and do stuff that takes mad strength to take my mind off the stuff that im forever thinkin about anymore .. i feel so helpless.. and confused.. and sad.. and yeah ill be pissed..think about happy stuff..get pissed again realize that i cant get happy not even for a second and get so frustrated i want to cry but i cant do that either!..its like.. WTF!.. i cant understand this at all.. i mean ill eventually figure it out..or itll just leave my head..and sadly none of yous can help..no matter how much you care or want to..i dont think you can.. theres real few ppl that i can talk to in these kinds of situations..and have them help.. its pretty much rare for that to happen.. if i cant even get it myself.. its hopeless.... i gotta think..but at the same time stop.. woo what fun i have in store..figurin this shit out =\ ugh later guys --- for a while i think* |
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craziiwhitegirl | ..., 06-08-04 6:46pm changed this again? .. niice .. im gunna do mine too
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THEhairybeast | Re: ..., 06-08-04 7:47pm true that
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