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| shiznit05 (profile) wrote, on 6-8-2004 at 1:35pm | |
| Current mood: not quite sure |
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| ready for a long one? so the other day, i was off going to many grad parties, and any normal person would be off having a carefree day...nope, im a thinker so i was thinking and i came to two conclusions, im pretty damn proud of these conclusions too, and the few people that i told them to seem impressed...yup im sweet conclusion number 1: teen romance is not for everyone. ive decided that its not for me. im not someone who can sit around crushing on a guy. i always end up befriending the guy, and then losing all interest i ever had in him. instead i make him into a friend, and someone i cant picture living without, but only as a friend, he becomes my turn to person. so i was thinking the other day, while i was seeing couples pretty much everywhere i turned, i was like hmm...who could i picture myself with? well the answer was no one. and im ok with that, because i dont want to lie to myself and make me believe i like someone when i really dont. so its easier when i realize that theres no one in BGHS thats meant for me. theres the saying that theres someone out there for everyone, well my someone isnt someone i know yet. so we'll see what college has for me. that or what some other schools have...haha conclusion number 2: i wanna hang out with abby and amy a lot more than i do!! dont get me wrong, i love the group of friends i have now more than anything, they are people that i know will always be around and will always listen, but the monotonous ways we have are becoming a detriment. im not the only one who sees this either. so the other night i was out at abbys, and i felt so at ease. there was no stress there was no awkwardness, it was fun, and its because i was with the people i had grown up with. all of my friends now are "townies". they dont fully understand what i mean by a good ol' country party...they have no way of understanding...well a few might, but thats likle 2 i can think of, and the one is a definite maybe, anyway, so im deciding that i want to hang out with them more...go out with their group of friends, befriend more people, meeting people from other schools, keep the friends i have now, but just take a step back for awhile. let me see things from a distance. at times i think im too mature for my age, lately, with how ive been acting, i realize that maturity is comes and goes, because right now, im acting like a 4 year old with certain situations. i do the same thing with mike all the time and im doing it now to someone that im not meaning to...i try not to, really i do, but idk, its habit i guess, hes gotta know somethings up too...he knows me too well to not - hes not stupid. so take this as an apology, even though he doesnt read this...but its not something i can talk to him about, just give me time, let me do my thing for a bit, it'll pass within a few weeks, it always does...ask mike |
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| Anonymous | 06-08-04 4:01pm You're right... you are far too mature for our age group. Those are all very good points, I think at least. |
| Anonymous | 06-08-04 8:19pm and then there's me who goes to grounds to see a guy, and instead i pretend to look for a book...PRETEND TO LOOK FOR A BOOK! while he's sitting right there!! gah!!....but he did say hi, and he did tell me i could come see him, and he did give me his number.....aah who am i kidding, i'm a loser.... |
| Anonymous | 06-08-04 11:37pm aren't you taking a few too many liberties saying that he'll even want to continue any relationship "within a few weeks"? |
shiznit05 | Re:, 06-09-04 9:14am if you're thinking about who im talking about...then no, no im not |