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| brownsugar (profile) wrote, on 6-9-2004 at 10:46pm | |
| Music: notice me- zetta bytes Subject: finals week |
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| i should study. i really should study but I can't get my damn ass up off my seat. Anyways, i was just thinking how weird life can be.. how friggen weird. It scares me in so many ways and sometimes i just wish it would be normal. Like I always get these strange ass feelings that maybe somebody's mad at me or something.. cuz the way people act sometimes gets you to think that. For Example, i just called my whole phonebook and unfortunatly everyone was too goddamn busy for me. and then I go online and nobody online seems to think I'm goos enough to IM. yah.. it hurts sometimes but yah i'm prolyl oevreacting. I can be real stupid like that sometimes. sleep lingers over me like this surreal thing and I just wish it would leave me alone, cuz I don't want to sleep. I mean, id love to grab sleep.. it's a great thing. But, the thing is, I can't sleep unless I'm completely at peace withen myself, if I have complete sanity withen myself. And I really don't have that right now. I can't sleep unless I'm sure that everyone I care about is happy, everyone that matters is happy... and everything is just alright. I think about the way things were at the beginning of the year and tears start to form at the corner's of my eyes. I miss everything so much, and so intensely. I profusely sometimes wish everything would be the same.. yet at the same time i'm glad the way things turned out. I was reading the letter i wrote to myself ta the begnning of the year and it seriously scared me. The feeling I felt then, and what I feel now.. It's in a way so alike yet so different. In a lot of ways things have'nt chnaged much.. I'll always be that Tina. But what shocked me so much.. is that if I had written that letter to myself just a week laterit would've been SO different. Just cuz when i wrote it I had no idea jus what was about to hit me. That was just the week before the saddest weeks of my life... and it's crazy. I was so much in denial, saying I knew so much and being like "oh yah nobody ca ntake advantage of me" but in all seriousness, you can't control that shit, u sriously can't. You can so easily fall prey to the cruelty of human.. so easily |
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HollishDanishM | 06-10-04 5:09pm I agree with you a 100 perecent. It is comforting though to look back, and realize that you have not shed all of yourself- that you're still you. And of course it would be bad too if we didn't change at all. I really appreciate that Mr. De Vito gave us that letter to do, it was great to look back on.
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