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| tiptoeinthedark (profile) wrote, on 6-11-2004 at 10:20pm | |
| Current mood: suicidal Music: landslide Subject: my life is over.. are you happy? |
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yeah so today... I guess me n Jill rn't friends anymore... yeah I was crying n all then I went inside n got in a fight wif my sister and my dad strted yellin at meh for swearing so I told him to not talk to me n he ran after me n threw sumthing and hit me in the fuckin head wif it... fuckin ass.. n then he told me to get out so I went to the camper.. n he came in n told muh friends all this stuff n looked at meh n said noones cares bout meh so I sat right there n said... do u guys care about meh? and they didnt answer... a true friend would answer that!.. so I started walking down the road I could hardly see from all the tears ya no? I was fuckin histerical... and I was just walking n jade followed me n said she did care n I said if she did she woulda said when I asked her ya know? well she kept following n told meh that I had a good life n my parents loved me blah blah blah.. but she dotn get it.. how my life really is.. I dont tell ppl cuzh I dotn want them to know how bad it really is... ya no? n yeah so she just kept saying so many ppl loved me... n I just finally like 20 mins latah broke down in her arms in the middle of the road on a corner n all I could say was "he fuckin doesnt care, he doesnt call me, he hates me, he doesnt care" n I was talking about Cole .. but I dunno how it all came to that.. just a feeling that was in the back of my mind.. I love him with all that I am .. beyond compare.. and he knows that .. but it dont seem like it n he says he loves meh 2 but then he dont call n is wif his friends always n I dont think he even thinks bout meh... I mean he dont call meh or niuthing.. like im not alive or sumthing.. I mean if he loved me wouldnt he wanna talk to meh? n e ways my dad came along n picked me up n threw me in the fuckin car after telling me to get out.. I just kept crying n telling him to let me go.. I was bound to kill myself.. but jade wouldnt let me.. then jade left cuhz "I dont think she cares" but yeah... n there all mad at meh cuz all I talk abotu is jill n the york boys when theyve been here longer n shyt.. but I talk to them n tell them everything cuzh I cant tell the ppl here... n I mean I dont have n e Yorkers n e more.. cept Josh kinda.. but u no he's wif bri boo now n he always talks to her n i dont mind but he dont talk to me really so i dont have him no more so i dont know what in the hell they are talking about... well I cant be on the computer anymore or have a cell.. it may change but w.e i gtg bye ....and knowing it  I made that in desktop publishing class =)  n thats meh n my babii after we was walkin in the rain =)  n thats my bestest buddy and bestest guy friend n like best friend overall Joshie =)  n thats meh n muh Sammie babii =P  n thats Bri n Sammie at school =P |
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behindmysmile | 06-11-04 10:48pm ALI JEAN OMFG I CANT DO THIS IM SOO SOO FUCKIN SORRY ID ONT KNOW WTF IM GOING TO DO WITHOUT YOU I LUHV U SOO MCUH
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behindmysmile | Re:, 06-11-04 10:55pm IF YOUR DUMBASS DAD WOULD HAVE SAID THAT TO MEH I WOULD HAVE GOT UP AND SOCKED THE DUMB FUCKIN RETARD IN THE FACE AND THEN CUT HIS FUCKIN MANHOOD OFF BECAUSE THATS FUCKIN STUPID AND I HATE HIM SOO FUCKIN MUCH NOW!!
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behindmysmile | Re: Re:, 06-11-04 10:57pm I
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behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 10:58pm LUHV |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:01pm YOOO |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:02pm SOOOO |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:03pm FUCKIN |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:03pm MUCH!!!! |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:04pm I |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:04pm |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:05pm WOULD |
Anonymous | Re:, 06-11-04 11:05pm she really does need you.... she needs you jus as much as she needs brittany she luvvs u alot
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behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:05pm FUCKING |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:06pm DIE |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:07pm WITHOUT |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:07pm YOU |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:08pm IN |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:08pm MAH |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:09pm LIFE!!!! |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:11pm I
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behindmysmile | Re: Re:, 06-11-04 11:12pm Thank u chelsie. Im sorry im being all suicidle n depressed to you. IM sorry
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Anonymous | Ali.., 06-12-04 7:55am Ali.. its Bri.. umm I dont get why everyone is saying that Jill can't be your best friend. That bugs me. Everyone keeps saying OMG Jillane can't be her best friend because they don't know eachother, but that's a freaking lie.. anyone can be your best friend.. and you and Jillane know a hell of a lot more about eachother then a lot of people know about you.. but everyone keeps saying Ali always talks about Jillane and them York people.. but hello you can't help who you are friends with.. god it bugs me.. I talk about them a lot too.. I love you ali.. you are pretty.. smart.. and a freaking wonderful person.. im sorry i had to see you like this.. i will never doubt anything you say again about what goes on at ur house.. cause i understand.. i just want you to know that no matter what I LOVE YOU! Hey look your right here! Hi Ali!! Just saying Hi and I love you and im sooo freaking sorry... if u ever need ne 1 to talk to baby ill be here u can call me or IM me or whatnot but ur right here so ima go... luv yooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooouuu sooooooooooooooooooooooooo muuuuccch!!!!! wooooooooooooooooo.... Bri <3 PS~ Dont think that just cuz me and josh r together it doesnt mean he dont still luv u.. i talked to him on the phone last night n he was concerned =( |
| Anonymous | 06-12-04 9:24am Hey alium this is josh... Im sorry for everything that has been going on lately.. the stuff at your house and cole and everything.. but trust me i do think cole loves you.. i really think you have changed him if not just a little you have... and a lot of people are noticing it.. like tanner... and you know they dont like each other but they are actually being nice to each other... i think you have changed him and i do think he loves you... just because he is busy and stuff dose not mean he dose not love you... And yes i know i talk to bri more and stuff.. but i hope you do know you are my bestest girly friend... i dont know what id do without you.. yes we dont talk to as much as we use to... I still consider you the bestest i have... i still have all our e-mails saved from when we first really started talking again at the end of last summer... and it if where not for you alium i would have never meet bri... and i am in your debt for that... and i wuv you and it still hurts me seeing you not your self... or seeing you upset... And your friends i think did not say anything just because of everything that happened.. i mean its hard to say that typ of stuff infront of a parent that has just flipped out on someone... like one of my friends moms fliped and was yelling and trying to throw my friend out of the house *im sure you can guess who* cause they had to move and stuff so she just kinda broke and started yelling at him.. and she sait he was worthless and everything.. and i wasnt just about to say wtf are you talking about to his mom... he knew i cared and i did not think that way.. otherwise i would not have been there the whole time and after to make sure he was ok... ali your friends do care for you and they do love you... i mean look at the 22 entries well not 23... jill still loves you and you know it is ok to have more then one best friend... Me and some of my friends went through this one time and got in a big fight over who was whos best friend.. but in the end we figured for one you can have more then one best friend.. and that we where all each others best friends.. And you still have ray down here and stuff.. well i think you still have them all but just not as well.. like sure you and kyle have fought a few times but you are still friends.. and ray is def still your friend you two have never had problems and he never minds doing stuff with us.. and you know it... i mean really you still have us... i cant speak for them but i really do think they are still your friends... but i have to get going... we should start e-mailing again =P we started to again a while ago but stopped... i wuv you sunshine
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tiptoeinthedark | Re:, 06-12-04 12:12pm but I mean yeah I no u can have more then 1 best friend but this IS different.. I'll show u later what happened I mean she told me we mean the same to her then in all her journal entries it says how she loves britty more n brittys her everything n stuff after she said that to me n it hurts when ur lied to n it doesnt go over well wif me yeah I still love her n she means everything to me but if she wants britty that much she can have her it seems britty is all she needs thats what she said in there n she said shed give up everyon and everythign for her so that means shed give me up n so she doesnt have to do that im just leaving yeah COles "busy?" just wif his friends he could find time to call me n if he did love me he'd want to talk to me i'd think.. but idk wuv you! (reply to comment) |
behindmysmile | Re: Re:, 06-12-04 2:36pm NO I ONLY WROTE THAT IN A FUCKIN SPAZ MOMENT BCUZ U KNOW HOW MUCH BRITTANY MEANS TO MEH [AND U SHOULD FUCKIN KNOW HOW MUCH YOU MEAN TO ME] I DONT WANNA LOSE HER AND WERE JUS TALKIN AGAIN AND U KNOW HOW THAT MAKES ME FEEL AND U SHOULD NOW HOW U MAKE ME FEEL. BUT I GUESS YOU DONT!!!
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tiptoeinthedark | Re: Re: Re:, 06-12-04 2:47pm ok w.e Jill we know it was the truth!
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behindmysmile | 06-12-04 3:39pm |
behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-12-04 3:39pm Okay lets be stupid. You didnt have to say you and britty have fun when YOU KNOW that brittany wont talk to meh!!!!!!!
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tiptoeinthedark | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-12-04 4:08pm where nothing fucking alike at all
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behindmysmile | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-12-04 4:42pm You are alike, you both are telling meh to go away n run off wif the other one. When neither of you wanna be friends anyway.
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tiptoeinthedark | Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re: Re:, 06-12-04 6:37pm its bout you lying but that dont matter now I luhv yOo (reply to comment) |