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| werealljaded (profile) wrote, on 6-16-2004 at 6:23pm | |
| i know he thinks i just blew everything up, and i know i annoy him when i do this, and i am most likely just pushing him away.. but if i care about it... then it shouldn't be "no big deal"....and i am sick of thinking that everytime i open my mouth, i am just going to say something he finds stupid. i am so happy when he holds me, and when he gives me that look.. but lately we have been kinda jumping on each other on almost everything we say... he is just sooo fucking chill and never thinks anything is a big deal, and me..i'm a girl and think everything matters, and i also read into EVERYTHING. i just want to stop the bickering and just be back to cute again. i dont want him to not want to be with me bc of all this shit. the other night when we hung out..it was just nice.. i dont want him to think i am too much of a bother... i don't know, maybe i'm not worth it... i mean, i was raised not to think i was worth the time of day and that no guy would "ever fall in love with you bc you're too much of a bitch"(thanks dad)... and it sucks bc maybe he was right. it just sucks bc i dont think i have ever cared about someone this much.... i am the girl who shuts off her emotions... and i'm not this time..and i hate it, i feel like a big ball of emo. and i feel like matt thinks i'm nothing but a big ball of emo and is getting sick of me. i always think EVERYONE is getting sick of me. |
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| Anonymous | 06-17-04 3:26pm not everyone gets sick of you. emo is getting anti-emo and anti-emo is going emo! oh my goodness. keep your head up buttercup. <3 ya babycakes. |