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| AnnaLeBelle (profile) wrote, on 6-23-2004 at 5:35pm | |
| Current mood: crushed Music: Behind Blue Eyes; Limp Bizkit Subject: Well.. |
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| In the happy way of the world, my dad's decided to do all the legal stuff without going to court. Supposedly the reason I've acted out so many years is because I've wanted to be with my mother and he's not going to try to stop me because he knows this is what I want. So, he's going to ship some of my stuff up here so it will feel more homey. He's shipping the paperwork. And everything is going to be alright. They're not mad at me. They don't hate me. And somewhere deep down I knew they wouldn't, because I'll always love him no matter what he does to me. It's like that with Nick. I finally managed to get his live journal link and I really wish I hadn't. Because now, I feel like someone put a hole the size of Texas in my heart. The world will pass not knowing my pain, but I want him to be happy and if he's not happy with me, then he should be with Melissa. He has very right and I'm not going to stop him. And I should have known this would happen.. it's happened with Alex, Matt, Poy.. it all just sucks. I really felt like he was the one, and yet he says she's the one. So, I'm in the same boat as you, Jocelyn. Maybe he'll come around, but I doubt it. He's always been hardheaded that way. They supposedly have so much in common. He loves her, even though he wouldn't admit it to me, I can tell. So ,I'll just resign to my fantasy world. I never thought it would happen like this. I understand if he doesn't want to be with me, I'm not to particularly interesting. I'm just a boring, everyday girl. Melissa is probably perfect, more than I could ever be. He can have a tangable relationship with him. She can comfort him when he cries, hold him when he's scared and laugh with him. I can't do any of that. I damn the day I was born. Why does this stuff keep happening to me? I guess I'm just setting myself up for disappointment. And if he ever reads this.. well.. I don't know. He probably doesn't care what's going on in my life anyways. I'm just his little... Before I say something I regret, I'm going. Peace. LDC |
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cradleofilth | bunny, 06-24-04 12:59am im gonna miss you sooo much >.< you wouldn't believe...but its great your at a better place, away from your evil father >.<.....and about nick, im sure he cares for ya...who doesnt? everyone cares about you....at least as far as i know..
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