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| mudpiegrl (profile) wrote, on 6-25-2004 at 1:22am | |
| Current mood: confused |
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| so...two positives and a negative... its psychology...doesnt hurt as much i guess... he's me"why'd you stay?" him"because if i went home, id just worry if you were ok. i didnt want to think of you crying and wish i was here helping you stop." she started asking neil when hes going to canada to start his cruise to alaska... in two weeks she wants to send me on the same flight to canada so i can spend time with the relatives which ive been dying to do. only thing is...ive been promised soo much...that i give up on believing her...and so i told her so and neil told me it seems like i pick my fights with her... so i explained to him how hard it is to have patience with her... because she doesnt remember and she repeats and shes slow and she hates people for no reason and gets pissed off so easily....and the whole bit....with examples... and i had to do laundry so i got up...and she was sitting on the stairs... that pissed me off... that is horrible disrespect. and neil calmed me down...because hes a sweetheart... but i asked if it bothers him when i talk about my family and stuff...cuz i told him how jealous i am of his perfect family and family outings and kind mother who cleans his room and shit... and he said "it bothers me when you upset yourself" for some reason and it hurt i dont understand. why did it hurt when i heard that? maybe i dont want to hurt him... or maybe because i realised i just spent twenty minutes of his time making him hate me. maybe thats why... im not sleeping for a while... i dont want my eyes to be puffy in the morning... i talked to 'shonsky: im cold-hearted and horrible. him hey me hi how are u am okie nad you ehh i've been better but otherwise ok why I"m jsut getting sick of ppl oh yea? who jsut ppl overall like not everyone but ppl lol yea....right....you're lying no i'm not...i'm sick of Disrespect from ppl no one respects me.. i know have you ever thought of soem disrespect you show them as well tho? yea i know i do 2 an egotistical, overpowering image you have...everyone thinks you see yourself as better as they are but i'm ont no matter how confident you really are...thats how you appear and sound you're teling me you're not...but im telling you why you arent respected you should listen to me rather than deny no no ...i don't think of myself better than tohers am friends with the people you work iwth everyday mike.... lol yea you dont understand...im not saying you really do im telling you how you appear how people want to treat you because they feel like you treat them like they are all beneath you when most of them have been in theatre longer than you there is only one person i don't respect or think of as an older brother.....and that is Chris...i have no respect for Q and Stunkel at all..otherwise i love them all like ppl i ahve respect for battlestarre: why dont you respect Q and stunkel Q shows my no respect from square on.....he yelled at me cause he was 3 hours late for a rental...and stunkel...hes a great guy but i jsut can't take him seriously...i came home with a headache today.. but Chris, wender, Hul, Spencer, I lvoe them..the are like my father.without them i would know notihng.....i have no disrespect for them at all....i have more respect for them then i do for a lot of ppl......i just try to fit in with them...fit in with everyone.. stunkel....hes tough to understand...he is one who was never really taught how to be pissed off....either that or grew up in a place where he saw so much hurt and pain that he only wants to make the world happier.....same reason i dont get down that much Q...... this is the reason he disrespects you honestly, just like a good amount of us hes jealous waht your parents would do ANYTHING for you jealous listen to me just fucking listen ok both him and stunkel live in apartments his parents are divorced his mother hates him....tells him so....tells him everyday how much of a disgrace he is...how she wishes he was never born.... he goes to his dads and gets the shit beat out of him tehy dont give a shit about his theatre his accomplishments you you have money you have people who love you in your house no matter how much they say to you about your weight they care because that is your health they call teachers to tell them taht you deserve better obviously because they truely believe it mike...Q......he....he is struggling to get his hours sheet signed. you see? its tough man and you were talking about you new car and you twenty dollar allowence thats tough to take not only that when you began.....and youve gotten better but still do this you acted like you had years under your belt and knew exactly what you were doing and as a result of that....are better than everyone else because you know more that pisses EVERYONE off it always has and i totally understand if all your life you havent been respected by your peers because i never was either theres a certain point where you need to gain their trust the fact that you try to fit in let me point out how horrible this is you should not do this so much as be yourself i know youve heard it a thousand times but doing what you're told...asking questions if you really dont know being among friends rather than being among children do you understand waht i mean? ............yes..... really or are you just saying so? no...i jsut never new this i know i'm crying but can you honestly tell me that if someone tried to tell you you would listen? all i wanted to do was to fit in..but instead all i did was make it worse or would you think they were trying to be horribly mean? exactly but people give you loads of chances if you work on it ill tell everyone to chill really like i sorta see where youre coming from because your parents seem like control freaks....which would result in such sorry i dont wanna make you cry. but the truth hurts. ::hug:: you just gotta work on it okie? :i know exactly waht to do okie good just dont hurt yourself okie? ok... |
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goose | 06-25-04 2:33am your not cold hearted jorie moore, he kinda needed to know, he asked me if that was true i told him it was, everyone thinks so and you did a good thing because he obviously didnt know. as mean as it feels, i dunno its good i guess |