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| DarkSwordDancer (profile) wrote, on 6-28-2004 at 11:00pm | |
| Well...today....consisted of me...jotting...things down on a peice of paper...insignificant things....and it was amusing...till i realized..how much time i was wasting. Why? My thoughts keep drifting back to Mikki...and dont want them to.I still cannot grasp someone like her being gone. It easy enough to say but my mind.....my mind dosenty understand...i as a person understand..but my mind will not except.It will not except the fact that someone ive know most my life is gone. Ashes. Bones discarded...the flesh melting...hair disinigrating...leaving a bare chared skeleton....or they also burned that...blood boiling....fat sizzling...organs exploding from heat...what was left of her brain..becming ash...but before then melting..then ....then all thats left..is ashes....inside an innsinerator. And the mind...gone ...soul...gone...just ashes...the chell of another teen who couldnt take the heat...but ironicaly..burned...and kept. *blank stare at computer screen* The world continues to amuse me....the other day someone talked of world peace...but unfortunatly...no country is willing to look past its nose..and notice that all the damnage they are causing is for nother. The people dieing in combat for either side is for nothing. Deaths in vain. Welcome to earth planet of the moron leaders..and the people ,like buffalow..follow the leader over the cliff to oblivion....crashing upon the rocks...bones breaking...screams are heard...but thats the sacrifice...the sacrifice of people who didnt need to die. My thoughts dwell on death today...if had not already been noticed. My parents continue to ask whats wrong with me....tell me everything i think is wrong..and i shouldnt follow what i believe in. Be what they want me to be. Im tired. Im bored. And i cant stand ....anything. Latley the slightest things have been setting me on edge...for like the past 2 weeks. But there are cirtain people who have not set me off...and i dont think they will. But i cannot breath. This house...these people are suffocating me. I have learned something interesting in the past few days. What one thinks is good....actually...what one thinks is real....is only defined by the thought of existance. So the world will go nowhere. Because peace is not reall to them , progression is the only thing that exists....because happiness is compromised...for power...money....how much you can collect before you die...because you wish to fill a void...that only exists to you...so no one ese can see it...and people sit there silently trying to fix something that exists to no one else except yourself...so they dont understand...and that void becomes larger....so you collect...i dosent metter what you collect its that you collect...broken hearts...alcohol....snide remarks....books....food...places...people.....tears...screams...money....corperations.....it dosent matter cause we will all die...then nothing will matter. That all may seem one sided but hey...the theory is only real to me because it exists in my mind.much like your void.We all have one...wheather or not we admit it...we all know we have something that needs filling..but cant find the right thing to fill it...and we collect...searching for an answer.... What. What what what.I am part of a species...that is doomed to a demise created by its self. that just makes you feel so warm inside. Lost in an endless sea ,under an endless sky. I find comfort in the smallest thing....unseen by the naked eye. The destruction of me. My type of insanity. Not contagious in the least. But that is why. I am lost in an endless sea ,under an endless sky. Heh...i took me until yesterday to actually understand anything i just typed...but my internet was down so i was unable to update my reasoning on life. |
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godessalthena | 07-01-04 11:24pm Death is just a waste of time... Why think about something that doesn't affect you? I think it's the biggest waste of time...
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DarkSwordDancer | Re:, 07-01-04 11:46pm I agree...death is a waste of time...but i cant help but think about it. |