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behindmysmile (profile) wrote,
on 6-29-2004 at 11:14am
Current mood: embarrassed
Subject:
I wanna be loved by you..
Okay heres mah rant for the week. Okay meh and James are going back out, as you all know. But we've always had *friendship* and we've never really been able to get a relationship going. I mean everyone knows that we love eachother and everyone *Thinks* that we'll get married sumday, but we can never keep a relationship, mayb its becuz im afraid of *saving myself for jus one guy* maybe its becuz im afraid of commiting to one guy, i dont know maybe its jus im scared of what im feeling [seeings how its usually mah fault we always break up cuhz i break up wif him] but yeah..so everytime we go back out its jus like a friendship still. And ya know what, thats NOT WAHT I WANT!! I want a boyfriend that isnt afraid to reach over n kiss meh when we are lyin downstairs all alone. Or even if were together at the movies i want a boyfriend that will at the very least hold mah hand. I want a boyfriend that i can kiss whenever i feel like it and not have to worry *..what if ur mom finds out* what the hell do you really think i care if mah mother finds out that i made out wif mah boyfriend that she adores mroe than anyone in the whole world?!

And another thing, James wont even like kiss meh well he'll kiss meh but wont make out wif meh, and every other guy ive been involved wif lately, jus wants to finger meh or *lick meh we'll say lol* or something like that, and ya nkow wat i want..i want one guy to jus kiss meh, and kiss mah neck, and jus lets have sum fuckin foreplay before we jump straight in. And hey im not complaining..but i jus want sumone to look at meh as sum1 they love and not sum1 they can use when thier horny..ya know?

Okay..there im done. I jus kind of needed to write that somewhere..dont mind meh neways bye.
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Anonymous

James, 06-29-04 4:20pm

Hey Jill,
Whats up? Nothing here....i kno what u mean...i guess lol:/.....tell him that or let him read it so he knows how u feel you dork!!! well dont break up with YET keep it going for a while see if he understands how u feel......oh yah i need to ask u sumthing about james so IM meh and ill tell yah....luhv yah jill bye

(reply to this)

behindmysmile

Re: James, 06-30-04 12:27pm

Yeah well im pretty sure he knows how i feel..but oh wells i dont know anymore. I luhv da kid to death, but ya know.

Luhv u bum bum <3.

(reply to comment)

A-Demons-Angel

06-29-04 5:55pm

You like Dr. Pepper....

I love you

<3

(reply to this)

behindmysmile

Re:, 06-30-04 12:28pm

Hell yesh i luhv dr pepper..

its only the best.. hehe

Guess i luhv u 2 <3.

(reply to comment)

tiptoeinthedark

hey babe, 07-01-04 7:56am

I no wat u mean
I mean u want a guy to be wif?
and be close wif?
but not sumone thats like...
fuck me or its over?
or sumone that expects that
or wants just that
Im the same way
if thats the case
after Cole did that
I mean I slept wif him
then he did that
I wont sleep wif another guy
not for a while into the relationship
n only if I no they wont hurt me
and we love eachother
cuhz it hurts when ppl do that shit
n I dont liek guys ecpecting that
thats what they can get from me
and I just want sumone that will be there
ya no for me?
not for someone they can fuck
sorry.. jus
agreeing I guess

<3

(reply to this)

behindmysmile

Re: hey babe, 07-03-04 10:54pm

Awwe, yesh dats sort of wati mean..i jus want sum1 whose going to love meh for meh and is going to hold meh and cuddle wif meh without always wantin to have sex! ya know? Urgh idk wat im even talkin bout lol. But James understands and i cant wait till he comes bak! Ohh were SOOO MUCH BETTER! teheh <3.

I luhv u babez <3.

(reply to comment)

tiptoeinthedark

Re: Re: hey babe, 07-03-04 10:56pm

yehs exactly

<3

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