| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| glitterkisses (profile) wrote, on 7-11-2004 at 3:09pm | |
| Yesterday really sucked. Do you ever have those days where you try your hardest to keep it together, keep you head up because you just don't want to bother sharing problems because there isn't a single person who could quit understand the half of how you feel? So instead you keep it to yourself and try your hardest to keep it all inside, but it always turns out building up untill you're just pushed to your last end? That'd be my yesterday. I was thinking maybe a day mostly to myself would be good. Clear my mind, just relax and let everything just be...what it is. Didn't really turn out exactlly how I planned. I try so hard when you'r down to pick you up. I listen to what you say, and I hear what you don't say. I always go the limits when you feel there's no reason to have limits because I care more than I could otherwise. I thought you could hear what I don't say too. This time you're clueless. I need you, I'm going to need you more than ever. And I can't even hear you assuring me of a single thing... Where are you going...and why are you trying to go so fast? Is it really worth all of what you'll be missing in the mean time until you realize it was all a mistake? If not a mistake, time you wish you could get back. *sigh* Why can't I have a normal journal where I can actually make sense of problems and issues? "-You show up at my doorstep out of the blue. All this crazy talk, and all these feelings come rushing back, till I realize that the reason I don't still have those feelings is because I can't be the real me, with you. You can't possiably give me what I want, what I need, most importantly what I deserve. So how dare you question how I feel. How dare you question me. Kisses are meant for people with intentions of one another. I told you how I felt, and for the second time since the last time I talked to you, your trued getting me to believe something for your sake. Screw you, I'm sick of putting up with you. You're so selfish. Get past it, so I can't forget it.-" When are we ever going to talk about what I feel you're trying to ignore? I care so much about how this turns out. Even though sometimes I really just want to push my feeling aside, because I don't ever see the real picture till after I come to my senses. I genuianlly care about you. I am trying so hard to keep you in my life, but I need to know your intentions and the truth. I'm not really sure if you see that you could be happy, so happy. Chance come, and chances go. You have to grab a hold of them, there's always going to be uncertainty, but isn't that what makes it so worth it in the end? Thre reason you have to thank God for every second you get the chance to lookin into their beautiful eyes, and know they're glowing like that because of you. That there isn't a soul in the world who could make them feel the way you make them feel? Or the fact that there isn't a soul in the world who could make you feel the way they are making you feel right now? You're chance is now, before you're gone. Before you leave. what have got to lose? Just a shot of being happy. Isn't that what you want? What else is there? Just tell me what you want....that's what I'm aksing you for, just to be honest, and tell me, all of it. I promise you the truth. The truth that I'm not able to promise you the best turn out. A promise however, that you wont have a regreat. Stop telling yourself it's not worht it, you KNOW as well as I do that's it's not just worth it, it's *more* than worth it. I'm starting to believe more and more that everything happens for a reason. That things could turn out some many different ways, and the best was is his way. That in time he'll show you why. I think it's so amazing how things can be, or could be, or how they aren't, or what the possiabilties are. In every situation that sucks, you have to get past it, because that's the way it's supose to be, and you will eventually find out why. That's what I really believe. I've been trying to get that out for the past week, even though I can't make sense of anything myself. Are you really that subconcious that you can't take the initative to acknowledge or even try to relate to any of this? You're making all these really stupid decisions just because you can't deal with it. You're offended because someone's trying to help you. Well get over it, would you rather have us just ignore you? You have the real potential to make things a lot better than what they are, but it's up to you. You say things in spite of your anger and jealousy and it makes it ten times harder on everyone who's just tyring to help. It's the only way they know how. *sigh* Did any of that make sense to anyone?!? Didn't think so. My face still looks like a pumpkin *cries* I hate today. |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
.j.e.s.s. | 07-11-04 4:31pm jess ij ust hope everything gets better for you soon. and it will.
|
glitterkisses | Re:, 07-11-04 4:41pm r u online? |