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spud (profile) wrote,
on 8-1-2004 at 11:59pm
she's just not for me anymore.

maybe she never was.

i've had people tell me that.

but still. i don't know where it all turned around.

and maybe i'm just bullshitting, and it never really has turned around.

maybe i've simply stopped caring, stopped deluding myself, stopped being stupid.

wait, no. i'm still stupid.

and i'm not really sure if i still care or not.

i must still care, if it preoccupies my mind this much of the time.

but, then again, when there's stuff enough going on to drive it out of my mind, it gets very little attention.

however, it always comes back, once the rest of the music stops.

time to take a shower, so i'm fresh enough for band camp.

fuck.

i feel so unprepared.

for anything. everything.

my life is such a mess.

i guess it always has been. it just pisses me off that i can't even convince myself that it's fine, whether it actually is or not.

i'm just rambling nonsense.

went to the "annual" priest family picnic today.

instead of the mive get together at fucking krispy kreme.

oh well. there's always september. i think.

as long as the car is still running.

barely.
Post A Comment

PHIL-HIMSELF

08-02-04 12:56am

just remember that the band loves you

(reply to this)

sugarjackj

Re:, 08-02-04 10:15am

and your fans :)

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Tuwang

Re:, 08-02-04 2:25pm

yeah we do...

(reply to comment)

liz

08-02-04 1:34pm

did you guys break Up?? oh no

(reply to this)

Morning-View

Re:, 08-02-04 2:02pm

I don't know maybe he can answer that for the both of us.

(reply to comment)

liz

Re: Re:, 08-02-04 2:19pm

I hope not, you guys are in fact the model of the perfect relationship at least to me, but maybe thats cuz your both my friends. I love you both

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Tuwang

Re:, 08-02-04 2:23pm

let usually our superpowers of deduction to conclude whether or not he broke up with her...

P.S. I love you

(reply to comment)

Tuwang

Re: Re: Re:, 08-02-04 2:24pm

P.S.S. I don't know why the fuck i said usually..

(reply to comment)

Tuwang

08-02-04 2:29pm

To quote a very wise man... " You know I'm ready, yes to rock steady.... My names not betty or Teddy but I"m nick... and I'm what you might call a heretic..."

there probably was a million better lines from that song that I could have pulled out for you this beautiful afternoon... but you know me... always avoiding the stereotype... and using lot's of elispses... ... eh fuckit... FUCK THE BULLSHIT!!!

(reply to this)

beckaboo

08-02-04 6:20pm

Awww, Chris....

You know I'm always here to listen if you need to talk.

Cheer up, buddy!

(reply to this)

spud

Re:, 08-02-04 10:09pm

i know you are.

i always feel bad, because i have so many people that care about me.

and then i'm so shit to them all the time.

or, worse yet, i ignore them completely.


because "there just aren't enough hours in the day," or some lame excuse like that.

(reply to comment)
beckaboo

Re: Re:, 08-02-04 10:14pm

DONT feel bad. Its what we're here for.. to care about you I mean. And i don't believe I've ever been ignored or treated like shit.
I'm just saying. :)

(reply to comment)

spud

Re: Re: Re:, 08-02-04 11:12pm

aw.

thanks, becky.


(reply to comment)
beckaboo

Re: Re: Re: Re:, 08-03-04 10:13pm

Nooooooo problem.

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Nightshade666

Re: Re:, 08-16-04 4:12pm

You're damn right you ignore us completely. I'm joking man, I know I'm one of those last people you'd turn to, and we aren't close friends at all. But I'll always have respect for you.

(reply to comment)