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| sushininja (profile) wrote, on 8-5-2004 at 12:04am | |
| Current mood: depressed... Music: Edge of Sanity-Crimson |
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| Carmen is slipping away from me...I hate it, and it is my fault...I've been trying to reinstate the bond that was between us, but with everything else in my life falling away, how am I supposed to? I can't help but feeling that every day I manage to push Carmen even further away...at one point in time, we had no trouble finding what to do together...now it seems like a chore, a burden, and it just incurs arguements... I really don't know what to do or to think anymore...I really need to find out how to cheer Carmen up, because I'm worried about her...it seems often that she is irritable only with me, though, even though I'm trying to help...maybe I should just give up, stop trying to make her happy, stop trying to get things back to the way they were...accept the fact that this is how it is, and give up, which is something I do not want to do...I don't want to throw the towel in... I have no clue how things are between me and Amanda...whenever I bring up the subject, we somehow get turned around in it, and we're talking about something completely different...our friendship is no longer as concrete as it used to be...I don't have it to rely on anymore...I haven't even spent time with her since before I left for Wooster... Things aren't good between my mother and I...she just waits until she can't take it anymore, and goes off on me without forwarning...my dad has to come warn me when things are upsetting my mother, so I can come try to work on it...it hasn't been working at all... |
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| Anonymous | 08-05-04 5:09pm Doug, you really need to look at some positive stuff that's going on in your life... this post is enough to make anyone depressed. I know you're having a hard time, but please try and look and look at some positive and cheer up. Be careful on basing your happiness and feelings on other people's happiness. It's sometimes a battle you can't win.
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