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| xsilentxsuicidex (profile) wrote, on 8-11-2004 at 7:00am | |
| Current mood: Depressed Music: Slipknot- The Vermillion Pt. 2 Subject: To cry is to know you're alive.. |
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| So I haven't updated in a while, but alot has happened recently. I'll put alot, but there's some things I'll leave out... But it's not like anyone reads this anymore anyways. Friday- Michael came into town around 5. My parents had left for somewhere out of town, I don't know where... But Renee was here from the previous night. But Michael came, and we hung out with him, and Renee was all over him and stuff. Then she left, and Jenn came to stay with us. So Michael was talking and getting to know everyone, and we watched TV for a while. There wasn't really an extra bed, so Michael and I were sleeping in my brother's room... We talked for a long time, then it got kind of quiet, and we were just kind of looking at eachother. He asked me if there was anything I'd like him to do, and I didn't know what to say, so I just kind of stayed quiet.. and after a couple of seconds, he said 'I've got an idea', leaned over, and gave me my first real kiss... After trying to sleep for a while, we got up and Michael put on this jester hat and was walking around the house. Then it was like 3 in the morning, and Jenn told us to go to bed. Saturday- Hell, Saturday, we woke up at like noon, and Carly, Jenn, Eli and I went shopping... I got some pants, and a pinstriped skirt... Then we went to Subway and came home... After just sitting around for a while, Keely and Aisha came over... He really liked Keely alot and kind of ignored me for her. But then they left and that night Stef came over drunk, and he kissed her. We stayed up til like 4 or 5 just talking, and being funny... Then he woke up at 6:30, and I did at 9. Sunday- Keely, Michael and I went to the mall for a while.. It wasn't that fun, because once again, Michael was only talking to Keely... I really don't want attention or anything, but it was like he didn't talk to me at all. Keely didn't either really... But then Keely left and we ate dinner at Ruby Tuesdays... Then we went to bed... I think he kissed me again... but then, we had this really long talk about how he thought he was in love with Keely, and how he was sorry, and that he didn't mean to make me fall for him, then tell me he was in love with my best friend... He told me how he could see it in my eyes how it hurt me, and that he could see through the forced laughs and the fake smiles... He's the only person who has really seen past those... But then we went to sleep... Monday- Jenn woke me up at 6, and told me to get out of the same bed as Michael because my parents were coming home.. So I got up, cried for about an hour, then went back to sleep until around 11. My parents got home around 12, then we went to Keely's... Wow, I don't think anyone's ever seen me cry before then... Aisha was such a help, and Rhianna was too... (Thanks you guys) Anyways, Michael and Keely only paid attention to eachother as always... And he kissed her. Not a long kiss or anything, but a kiss. So while they were all lying in eachothers arms and stuff, I couldn't take it, so I went outside... And I told Aisha everything that had happened... And I cried.. But then Keely and Michael and Rhianna came out, so we walked to Rhianna's. Keely and Michael kept walking together. But anyways when we got there, she let him read her journal which had stuff about how she felt about him and stuff.. And all the while I kept having to leave the room with Aisha... (Heh, you broke the surface tension) But then we decided to leave, and we walked to the golf course, walked around a while, then went back to Keely's... Then we just hung out, and me and Michael had to go home... That whole time, Aisha and Rhianna were the only people who saw me cry... It just shows how little attention Keely and Michael were paying me... When we got home, we chilled with the family for a while, and then went to bed... Tuesday- Michael was actually supposed to leave on Tuesday, but his grandma was having car problems... But that day, Keely came over, and he was all depressed and shit because he had taken his medicine the night before... So he left for a while, and took 8 fucking pills... The most he'd ever taken before was 2. So he was all weird... But that day, he kissed Keely for real... And I wasn't there or anything, but I cried... I sat in my room and fucking cried, and there were 5 people upstairs on the same floor as me, and nobody noticed... Which I was happy about. But then Keely had to leave for orientation... After Keely left, Amy was here, and she was giving the already depressed Michael a hard time about his long hair or whatever... And she told me I was ruining my life by hanging out with people "like him"... So he was pissed/depressed, so he went upstairs, and fell on the ground (Result of taking the 8 pills).I was so scared, I really thought he was going to die... So after we figured out he was okay, we got him to the bed, and I just layed with him for a while... His hair smells so good... I'm going to miss it... But then he got up and we gave him some food and water, and we hung out downstairs, then some of his friends took him for a party... While he was gone, I was talking to Warren (he's good to talk to when you're in a bad mood), and I left the computer for a while because my dad was yelling at me, so he rode his bike over to see if everything was okay... So he hung out here for a while, and Michael came home and got to meet him, then he had to go home... After a while we tried to watch the SouthPark movie, but the TV kept fucking up... So Michael went to bed. I lyed with him for a while until Eli came in, so I left and talked on AIM for a while, then Andrew called and I talked to him until like 3 in the morning. I love that kid, he's so fun to talk to. Today- Woke up around 10... Called Keely and Aisha, and they came over at about 11:30... Then we hung out until Michael had to leave at 2. His grandma came, and we helped him pack his stuff, then he kissed me (just a peck) and informed me that I had just kissed Keely. Heh. When I went downstairs to get his bracelet for him, he kissed Keely again (a real kiss)... Then after millions of hugs and kisses on the forehead, he left... And he's gone. So Keely and I were depressed and Aisha just likes ice cream, so we made this giant bowl of ice cream and ate it, and had some pizza... Then Keely had to go to marching band, and Aisha stayed. We got in the hot tub for a while and listened to music, then we took a shower outside ^_^ It was fun. (We were still wearing bathing suits, though, sillies.) But we started singing the elmo song and this puppy ran up to us, and my dog peed on it... O.o Eh heh... But I just went to orientation and the classes I'm in are-- Advanced Chorus- Mr. Riel Family Consumer Science- Mrs. Yeoman Science- Mrs. Johnson Social Studies-Mr. Moore Math- Mrs. Connors Language Arts- Mrs. Glasgow. I don't know if those are in the right order though. I don't have my schedule in front of me. But these past days have been crazy, and I've felt every emotion there is to feel... I've been the saddest I've ever been, and very close to the happiest... But all in all... I'm just sad that summer is fucking over and school starts in ONE FUCKING WEEK!! |
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CallistoMoon | 08-11-04 8:03pm God dana . .I'm so sorry ;_; I seriously love you more than any guy . . .I'm REALLY sorry . . I hope you can forgive me ;_; |
| Anonymous | ; ;!, 08-12-04 11:48pm Oh my god.. I feel like crap. I should just kill myself and stop everyone's misery. |