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| brokenmentality (profile) wrote, on 8-25-2004 at 11:52pm | |
| how can love even be real? how can you love somebody, and then not love them. how can you make a vow to that person and then break every promise you ever said to them. i dont understand how you can change from one person to another, i dont get how people can fool you. i dont GET how anyone can really know if they're in love. i've never been in love, i know that. i know that i've never trusted a guy fully enough to love him.... will i ever? will i ever get that romance that i've always dreamed about. i can picture this beautiful wedding and a fairytale life together, but that doesnt exist. i think i've found my biggest fear.... falling in love. i dont trust myself enough to make that commitment. and comon, we're in highschool. you cant love someone, you're 16 years old.. give or take a few years. you dont know what love is.. love isnt that feeling you get when you see them.. its deeper then that. love is a friendship, and its respect. respect that only a man can give his wife, and look at my mom... that did her alot of good. woohu... she fell in love, now we're living in my aunts basement. now he's moved his new girlfriend into our house. OUR house, it doesnt matter that we used to be a family. that was my home, i dont even have THAT anymore. we have some torn up land in cedar springs. that SURE does us alot of good when we cant afford to put a house on it. SURE, what goes around comes around right, my moms the better person, at least she doesnt have to live with the things that he's done. living everyday just knowing what kind of person you really are. sure he's the biggest mistake that could have ever happend to us.... well bravo. what proves that shes the better person? the fact that he ruined her credit? that he tells shelby to lie to her mommy? yeah... sounds like a person in love doesnt it? what a dangerous thing to fall into. and yet you think you're capable of loving somebody in high school. you're a fool if you think that. saying i love you doesnt make you any more of a person. it doesnt enhance your status as a couple... it makes you liars. im not trying to attack anyone, and i think its sad that i even have to put this line in my entry.... but this is how I feel. God, please keep me from being bitter. i hate being like this. |
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glitterkisses | 08-26-04 3:51am I love you Erika.
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tare | 08-26-04 9:33am *hugs* awwwe erika. it's only natural for you to feel this bitter. june cleaver could be in your situation and even SHE would be bitter. you can't be positive all the time, and that's okay. God loves you, bitter or not, and I do too. |
Anonymous | Re:, 08-26-04 1:06pm It's ok..but all the things you just said all seemed so true and real. I agree with alot of that. Well ttyl. luvs..
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brokenmentality | 08-26-04 7:29pm im so grateful for you three.
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lilkristen | 08-26-04 9:36pm ::hugs::
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