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| mizu87 (profile) wrote, on 9-1-2004 at :09pm | |
| Current mood: exhausted Music: Breaking Benjamin |
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| I am soo tired! Brook called me.. yesterday around.. Hell I don't know it was I guess around 2 or 3 when he called me back when he was at Scott's but anyway he was piss ass drunk and I could hear porno in the background and it was disgusting. He tried covering up the phone and talking it up with his guys about me but I could hear.. and it made me so angry and sad and.. I hung up. He said that I was there and he wouldn't deny me and this and that and could get it just like that and just aweful things. And.. then he called me back and apologized but said he was a different person around everyone and said he just said that at the moment because that was what that guy wanted to hear. He said that he hates it how they think of me but he says he doesn't like to cause trouble and likes to be cool to everyone.. even if he has to put on an act.. .. I can't believe it. .. I just.. there is so much to him.. it's a game to him you think? But we talked and talked about how I was just puttin heat on him and just.. why was it and he said he can't see it happening between us but he loves me so damn much and (that's his exact words) and just .. damn.. alot was said last night.. and I told him I wanted to stay with him and.. he says I just can't change him and just.. damn.. it was disgusting how he was with his friends.. ... he cried again.. and.. just damn.. and.. he just talked and talked.. and.. I said I didn't care about him drinking I just didn't like how he was when he did it.. same with smoking.. I called Brook Jon's name a couple of times.. a bit I caught myself before hand but Brook didn't catch anything. .. and.. i just don't know.. he went home and called me and.. just.. is so different with me then he is with ANYONE else and.. it's just soo soo fustrating because he was really really really pissed off at me because i sounded like i just hated everything about him and wanted to call it all quits.. and.. I just.. I just can't explain it well enough for you all to understand. .. but.. I didn't go to sleep .. I haven't yet.. been awake all day.. well not really since I was passed out at school.. I mean I blacked out and woke back up an hour later at a time. I think I gained like 4 hours of sleep at school -_- stupid.. brook song to me this morning as i was getting ready for school and.. it's just.. so.. crazy. I told him i didn't care that we would make it work. And he, when we first was talking, said that how can it work when I'm not of age and just.. I found out why he can't get his drivers lisense.. because he has too many D.U.I. tickets.. and its' just.. that hurt that he hadn't told me that.. and that same night while I was babysitting Kylee I was talking with Jon while I was over there on the phone and asked him what he knew about Brook. He told me that he knew that his real father owned a hariley shop and he got money from him and when hismother passed away he got money from that so everybody calls him the prince because he gets money from who knows where.. and .. Brook never told me he got money from his father.. .. I just.. and then Brook says he's bout to beat up jon because jon said he's been selling .10 cent beer to underage kids when brook said he hadn't and just a whole lotta shit. but he was drunk so.. you can't .. really let everything matter but when you're sober and take everything to heart.. it's hard no to file what goes on... Jessie came over to Brook's and crashed in his room and i had to go pee and when i came back brook was talking to someone so I just listened. And he said to the person if i had had a kid that he would stay with me and take care of it even if we had a fight he would still go see his kid and.. I think they was talking about nathin..but it got me thinking about children.. .. and brook.. I don't know.. i wasn't expecting all of it.. i mean we was really pissed then went to laughs.. and it's just.. crazy. After work today I went by gasmart with dad and... saw brook who didn't.. seem wo who to see me.. .. but.. was surprised i could tell.. he looked .. depressed.. like always.. like me.. put on a smile.. i can see through it cause it' sjust like mine.. .. but yeah. he said he's going to the cage tonight.. and i found out through jon that it's all age's now.. so even i could go.. why hasn't brook told me this? Yea.. but.. it's .. god.. my stomach is killing me.. so is my poor bitten tongue. damn it's so swollen.. i can't eat.. i've lost 5 lbs and haven't eatten one full meal in like 4 days.. i'm hungry but i'm not because i know once i eat.. it'll hurt my stomach.. But yeah i'm tired as fuck and just now cause of today got back on my homework, back as in ... ah.. shit we have a test tomorrow.. dang i'm confused about everything. Jon is too awesome to talk to and i just don't know what to do with brook. it's up and down with him and i and it's driving me mad and now for bed.. I'm getting a class ring too btw. |
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hiei | 09-01-04 6:31pm Of course it's going up and down, did you expect it to be perfect forever? How long have you been with him? Obviously not long enough to say you know everything about him. Thus, how can you want to be with him for the rest of eternity? I hate Jon but he's better than this Brook kid.. |