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mizu87 (profile) wrote,
on 9-7-2004 at 10:56pm
Current mood: annoyed/aggravated with brother's voice/okay
Well, school went fine. Making all A's like I said. In US History my average is a 100 ^^ he told me and I don't like him and I just nodded and he said "you know, you can smile" so I gave him a grin.
Lenka is making me teach her Japanese. She likes it. How awesome! She is teaching me Slovach too. It's much harder then Japanese.
Work went fine. Doing good with the public now! Getting more $$$! Got $2 from a lady! Usually women leave me a dollar if that and some change left. Oh yea, Charmin, working on my charisma!

All was well untill Charles got to work and I asked him if he had saw Brook and he said he did, last night.
I asked him if he had said anything. And he said yea and I said about what he said he didn't remember and I said Ohhh come'on, and he said oh what are you talking about? I said what are you talking bout? And he said Ohhh you are talking about you? And I said well dah. And he said that Brook said .. we broke up.

... I was like what? And .. he said 'yea he said that you guys had broken up?' And I just .. didn't say anything.. but I sat Charles down and asked him to tell me everything and he said 'well it was the middle of last week probably' and I said 'five days ago?' and he said probably. And he said 'someone asked him :are you still going out with that one girl?- and he said 'cha no'' .. .and.. I just.. looked at him and.. charles patted me on my hand in a mocking way and laughed -_- such a friend. No he is cool.. ... .. and.. .. just..

I saw it comming, I didn't see how things could work out but.. just.. rejection.. .. I just.. feel.. ... ... . .. unimportant.

I told charles how brook said it pissed him off that bethany couldn't go to his face and tell him she was over him .. and now.. he said we were broken up.. why hasn't he come to my face? ... .. ..

5th day of not hearing from him...

Oh I plucked my eyebrows too btw T_T I have none left! They burn! Painful! Ouch! Iiiiiiii tay! ... I look more.. girlie now -_-

I have $120...

Oh I had a talk with my parents last night.. I started to cry and made her tell me ways of how I was immature.. she said for one crying, that I couldn't control myself. ... You don't know how bad that hurt from her.. dad said 'oh no! That is not being immature she is just upset' and .. dad was right.. and mom.. she just spoke out of the heat of the moment.. That's all she ever does. That and she said I'd fuck any guy that came along.. .. dad says it's the medicine mom is on but.. .. mom is just a bitch by nature.. .. I hated the things she said last night and I proved myself right. She couldn't think of anything of me being immature. Dad says just like everyone else I have to wait till I'm 18 to get a car.. assholes..

All the teachers are ganging up on me and wanting me to take piano lessons. I was so surprized at all the compliments I got... .. I like the piano.. I Just.. what the fuck am I doing? Am I staying here? Transfering? Moving? What?

.... .. this semester I'll stay so maybe Wednesdays I could have 30 minute piano lessons... I dunno..

.. brook.. I love him in a friend way.. and.. it just.. it hurts because.. I know.. .. he talks bad about me.. maybe sex was really all he wanted.. .. it's hard to immagine but this whole time I was just thinking of Jon... and wanting to talk to him.. and have him hold me.
I have to stop using him.


... .. I have homework.



... I'm still so lost.
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hiei

09-08-04 9:08pm

xD Damn am I good or what? And I can think of ways you're immature and crying isn't one of them.. YEA, you would fuck any guy who was good to you and THOUGHT you wanted to be with forever. For example: Brook. You don't listen to people with more than a half a brain, you always think you're right untill you pay the price, and you pout a lot. You should be lucky you'll be getting a car at all! This Jon fella doesn't sound too trustworthy either so I wouldn't go crawl into his arms and then start saying you love him. Not only that but when a girl has to go looking for an older guy JUST to fall in love, that's wrong. Does the phrase: "trying to grow up too fast" come to mind? It should. You look for the one you love in college/mid 20's. Why do you think all these teenagers are getting pregnant? Why can't you just stay a kid for as long as you can? By the way.. Did you ever beat Azure Dreams?

(reply to this)

mizu87

Re:, 09-09-04 10:59pm

Well, Azure Dreams didn't work last time I put it in and I don't really have anytime for anything these days. It's school and work. That's pretty much it. I want to play; however, finishing playing that is Forever Kingdom. I like that game.

But back to the other shit. I DO not want to 'fall in love' and stay with someone forever, Hiei. If you read my shit right you would of noticed me saying that I didn't think I'd stay with him forever, it never seemed possible and I just couldn't see me with someone that long. I pout alot. I think I'm usually on the path to my shit being right and what price am I exactly paying? Heart Broken? Far from it. I just.. feel odd... maybe my heart is breaking, never really had it 'broken' before.
... I'd fuck any guy that was good to me but I wouldn't happen to think I'd want to be with him forever >:| ... And Jon.. he said he wouldn't say I love you to me and it was cool I said the same that was way back when we was just talkin.. he wants no strings and.. that seems the best. ... ... It's an odd feeling I'm not used to.. it's just I can't help but feel all this time was it sex all he wanting? Was he feeling the same way I was? Loosing yourself to someone good like me (for me it was good him) and it being ok but not serious? But then he said marrage and kids and this and true love and wtf?


¤||Buda||¤

(reply to comment)

Anonymous

09-10-04 4:56pm

In essence what Hiei said: FUCK YOU! Did you beat that game?
In essence what Buda said: FUCK YOU! Yes.

Really now, we're looking at one situation from two different perspectives (and now with my third and just as ridiculous insight.) She may have known she wouldn't have been with Brook forever so she got some ass and now is feeling the emptiness that follows with things that were rushed.

But in all seriousness the relationship wasn't rushed, just at the very end I think. So now everyone has awkward feelings for each other and Brook does the guy thing and doesn't talk to the girl. Things would probably just be better if he would end it and explain why he's ending it rather than everyone having to tell poor Buda that its over. Not a good thing to do. At least she's not going psycho about it and threatening to end her life. I've seen girls go through this before and I want to congratulate my buddy from OK (who drinks soda, not pop.)

As for you Hiei, you may not be as naive, but you were at one time so please instead of acting like you "know it all" fuckin just support her rather than make her feel like shit.

(reply to comment)

hiei

Re:, 09-11-04 5:23pm

Did I beat Azure dreams? Yea.

She stated earlier in her journal (go check yourself) that she wanted to be with him forever and that she loved him a lot. I'm not going to "support" her when what she's doing is wrong! Why should I? I'd support her if she went up and kicked that mother fucker in the balls because he deserves it, but that doesn't make it better that she fell right into the trap of thinking he "needed" her and that she could change him or whatever. And you're not paying any price? It sure sounds like you're paying a price! God damn you'd think your life was a drama. When we talk directly to each other you deny it, but in your journal it's another story. All sad and questioning and crap, don't act like you're not sad.

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mizu87

Re: Re:, 09-12-04 11:33am

Awww Jahreee.. ::whines:: man.. You got my back don't you? ^^

Jahreee is right.. .... and.. Hiei.. you.. are such an ass then you got to say something like you did at the end of your comment.. you say you don't care then you really do care then you aren't my friend call me a hoe but.. still comment?.. you just want to prove me wrong.. always want to say "i told you so"... .. right?


¤||Buda||¤

(reply to comment)

hiei

Re: Re: Re:, 09-12-04 12:51pm

Since when did I say I care after I said I didn't? Want to say I told you so?.. How'd you know? So then you can say: "Gosh Hiei, I was wrong.. Maybe I should listen to you more often." Because if you DID, you wouldn't be in this mess with that stupid guy. Even Jahree told you to get rid of him but you don't give him crap just because he trys not to make you feel bad. He shouldn't even bother anyway, you deserve a good thrashing every once in a while. If you don't want to hear something you take it like someone's trying to put you down. Have you ever considered what I say COULD and probably IS true? Sometimes I wonder if whatever I say not to do you do for the hell of it so you can try to prove ME wrong and then it back fires in your face. Seriously, half the things you do or say are so damn idiotic. Like if you had a baby you'd kill it? Talk about childish and irrational.

(reply to comment)

mizu87

Re: Re: Re: Re:, 09-12-04 7:17pm

::sighs::

... .. I do take what you say into consideration Hiei. I always look as if what you say is true.. I can't accept it unless I learn and exprience it for myself.


¤||Buda||¤

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