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| xsilentxsuicidex (profile) wrote, on 9-13-2004 at 3:16pm | |
| Current mood: Depressed. Music: Jack Off Jill- Strawberry Gashes Subject: You end up dead in the end. |
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| Lately I've been so fucking depressed... And I'm not even sure as to why. I think I'm dropping out of this election bullshit. I forgot why I even got into it in the first place. I guess Cope really does deserve to be President. She actually wants it, and would actually get something done... I guess none of this will really matter in the end, seeing as I'll eventually die. All day something's been dragging me down. I feel like I can't do anything right. I think I'm failing, again. This year I wanted to start over, and focus on my grades. Try to be a good kid... And once again, I've become a dissappointment. I'm not getting things turned in, not keeping organized... To make things even better, all my new teachers already hated me. Aside from Mr. Riel and Mr. Moore, none of my teachers like me in the slightest bit. I feel like I'm losing friends. Andrew keeps falling farther and farther away from me, and it seems like forever since Keely and I have had an actual conversation. Everyone just seems so distant lately. But maybe it's just me. I came home early from school today, because I felt like I was going to cry. I've done that before. I think the nurse is starting to catch on that I'm not actually sick anymore... Nothing seems to be gettign better. I wish we had a break coming up soon... So I could take some time off to clear my mind. Maybe next nine weeks, I'll just start over new. Get a clean slate... I know that's not going to happen, though. There are so many things I don't like about me... So many flaws... And I wish I could just be perfect. That person who's always smiling, who never has anything wrong. Who has lots of friends who love her, and a close family. The person that all the teacher's love, and who gets good grades... The one people look up to... But that will never happen. I'm no where even close to that... I'm such a fucking pessimist. I can never see past the imperfections. But why try to see what's not there? You end up dead in the end, you end up right here my friend. |
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| Anonymous | 09-14-04 10:52am Im here Dana! I thought that I was going to do better this year too. Geuss not. I am so worried about my grades! I know how you feel. Since school started its like everyone has made other and better friends. I geuss we can be miserable together cant we. Nothing is turning out like it should. . .
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