| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| mle (profile) wrote, on 9-20-2004 at 1:56am | |
| Current mood: stressed Music: incubus, avril, and third eye blind Subject: |
|
yay msu. i suppose. yesterday and today are just those kinda days where nothing goes your way. and i wasted them both away. not being wasted. and not enjoying them. double-waste. my roommate creeps the hell out of me and every other person who spends more than 2 seconds with her. she needs to stop setting her alarm for the buttcrack of dawn when she doesn't have class until 1130 and sitting around staring at the wall and/or me. all i want is a day off. a real day off. all to myself. so i can catch up on homework and sleep, get in a good workout. do something with my life. sarah suitemate and i were wandering around the floor looking for alliy tonight when we walked past the bulletin board. a flyer caught my eye and so i went up to look at it. she flipped out. "god, emily, aren't you already in a billion things?" "well.. yea.. but i feel like i'm not doing enough. i never feel like i am." stupid bitches. i thought that feeling of worthlessness was supposed to go away once i graduated and became a real person? apparently not. now i'm suffering consequences. the suckers lose themselves in the games they love to play children love to sing but then their voices slowly fade away . third eye blind . i want you . speaking of "i want you" ... i want marcus to give me some space. i never thought i'd be saying that when i only see the kid a day or two a week... but he just doesn't listen to me anymore. katherine's best friend just got engaged (that's right, she's 19 and she dropped out of her freshman year in college already to get married). so we were chatting about marriage. her and lindsey say marcus is a marriable type and to hold onto him. but what if he is not marriable to me? and why do i even give in to his tears of loneliness? where was he when i was broken-hearted? oh, that's right - sucking face with my best friend. why should i care that he is all alone back home? do i not deserve to go out and not have to think about his pathetic butt sitting at home on the computer? i want space. from everyone. and everything. i just want to run my own thing for once in my life. but the damned overachiever tendancies push through my well-crafted shell. and i'm stuck being everyone's bitch again.. all over again... please, god. please don't let this be a repeat of last year... |
|
| Post A Comment |
spud | 09-20-04 3:52pm hey, i don't think that anything's ever a repeat.
|
jus4fun06 | 10-02-04 1:07am i like your journal. the picture and all. its so cute~ lo! i understand how stress can get~ |