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nerdalert (profile) wrote,
on 9-22-2004 at 4:17pm
Current mood: sad
Subject: my feelings for everyone to see
Weezer10GK: thats my new philosophy, if people want to hang out with me they have to call me, bc im sick of always being the person who calls people bc im bored out of my mind, and its a good way to see who your real friends are

Weezer10GK: bc the ones who realize youre not calling call you and want to do stuff

Weezer10GK: the ones who dont probably were annoyed you were calling them or didnt want to hang out with you in the irst place

guajiragoddess: hehe yeah. but i always tell people, "dont feel bad, im not ignoring you and calling 10000 other people. i dont call anyone at all"

Weezer10GK: lol

guajiragoddess: sorry if i never called you

guajiragoddess: i'm a hermit

guajiragoddess: i cut grass and play with matty and morgan

guajiragoddess: thats all i do

Weezer10GK: thats alright, at least you have an excuse

Weezer10GK: i think last year when you and laurence got closer it kinda made me mad bc it felt like i was losing him to you, so i got mel and janet. but in the long run i think it worked out better bc i have more in common with them than i do with dork. me and janet and mel all listen to the same music....everything leaning towards punk mostly, and we have basically the same morals, hang out with the same people (church people) where as me and dork now really only have our past and our morals in common, i dont listen to interpol, and stuff like that anymore, i mean of course i like nirvana and bush and all that still, but i dont know too much "modern rock"

Weezer10GK: now criag just kinda dumped everything he knew/believed/liked before and adopted everything meaghan, so now all we have is 80's music and our past

Weezer10GK: so i feel like all my best friends have been stolen from me

Weezer10GK: not that i havent changed at all, bc i have, but just not as much/obviously

guajiragoddess: aw nic

Weezer10GK: there, thats whats wrong with me

Weezer10GK: and i hope my roommate doesnt coem back any time soon bc i have tears pouring down my face

guajiragoddess: nicole!

Weezer10GK: and over the summer, i would for sure saymy best friend was jeff stein from church, but hes only a jr in hs, so he's at home and has all his school stuff to do now and stuff like that, i mean i still talk to him online and on the phone but thats about all

Weezer10GK: danielle!

guajiragoddess: why didnt you talk to us about this before?

Weezer10GK: bc i hold everything in till i blow up

Weezer10GK: thats my style

Weezer10GK: it sucks but i cant help it

Weezer10GK: bc when im with everyone and when i would say something we would be doing something cool and i didnt want to wreck the good time

guajiragoddess: but we love you

Weezer10GK: and now i feel like i dont ave a best friend at all, bc you and dork are, craig and meg, janet and mel, adam and ryan

Weezer10GK: nicole and _______

guajiragoddess: aw, i dont really have a best friend, seriously, its not that important...everyone hangs out with everyone

guajiragoddess: i mean think about it, i didnt have a "best friend" all through high school

Weezer10GK: but it is important for me bc i dont just share my feelings/emotions/shit with anyone, i tell one person and thats how i get it off my chest so i dont blow up, before i would tell dork, then craig, now no body so now i just blow up like last night. it might not be important to you, but i have a reason why its important to me

Weezer10GK: its not about hanging out with someone a lot

Weezer10GK: its about talking

guajiragoddess: ah

Weezer10GK: and i cant talk to anyone

guajiragoddess: you can talk to me

guajiragoddess: you dont have to label
me "best friend" to be able to do that

Weezer10GK: i know i can talk to any of my friends and they would listen, but i just cant, i dont know why i just cant

guajiragoddess: i'm probably the most open-minded liberal you'll ever find....

Weezer10GK: i know and thats why i dont talk to you bc its probably harder for you to understand the meaning behind some of the things i woudl say bc you are so open minded and im not

guajiragoddess: lol

guajiragoddess: nice point

Weezer10GK: lol, thanks, i know what im talking about ;-)


and if you guys actually read all of this youre awesome....thanks danielle
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Anonymous

Its mel! woop!, 09-22-04 7:13pm

K, im gonna comment on a majority of this, cuz im the shit.

first of all, i tried that philosophy as well, and it doesnt work, and it definitly wont work if were both doing it, just more reason to think we hate each other. ha.

secondly, im sorry that your old friends arent the same anymore weve all been there, but if it means anything im glad because we got way closer. i love the fact that our friendships all started at the church, and we have the same morals, and who doesnt live without music, but WE have much more in common than that ;)

next thing, you have the best thing wrong, i personally think of all my friends as best friends, i love them all SO much, i mean were always together anyway, except for lately, which sucks, but i respect you for wanting to do homework and such. (PS dont think i dont listen to you, i hear you loud and clear and honest to God i have started paying attention in class and such, im still trying to adjust to "college life"). anyway its not like our best friendships should get in the way.. were all REALLY good friends and we should all feel lucky. cuz not a lot of people have a group as close as ours. i realize you want someone to talk to, well you definitly have janet or me.. even though you dont tend to share a lot of feelings with me, but you definitly have janet, i think you two are way closer, hmmm a lot like best friends?! ha.

anyway, i rambled on a bit. but i think you get the point.

I love you nicole!!

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guajiragoddess

09-22-04 9:37pm

You're right about me. The only thing I can offer you is consistency. I will always be here. I will always be me.

All I will ever be able to do is be honest. But the honesty will always be in your best interests, no matter how much you want or don't want to hear it.

Love,

Me

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nerdalert

Re:, 09-22-04 10:11pm

thanks buddy, and i know that and thats why i dont tell you certain things, but other things i do bc i know you;ll be straight forward with it

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buttercup954

09-23-04 6:11pm

i might be out of place saying anything at all- but i'm glad you made this entry.
& i know we never talk anymore, but if you need to, just call me. i spose i could give a different view [i'm pretty detatched from all that.]

<3

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