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| blondie17 (profile) wrote, on 9-30-2004 at 8:01am | |
| today is the day of hatred to myself. why do i do this........i dont understand why i keep letting myself go so much. how can i still like someone who treats me like nothing but a piece. why.........am i so stupid. why do i obviously insist on hurting myself...by ripping my heart out over and over then setting myself up for that pain to be again repeated. when i think about it mystomache hurts and my heart is weak. this is weak. my breaking down is so stupid. i feel so stupid for even admitting i feel this way. i hate this boy but at the same time im infatuated, obsessed,enamored. you guys think you understand but you dont. you dont get it because you havent done what i have for this guy. speaking of that i could write this and go cry for hours like i do when i think of how much i want him, and the feelings not being returned by him, but if i see him again i would go right back to him. right in his trap. its like an addiction, an obsession, you know its not good for you but its what you need to keep some sort of sanity, some sort of happiness... and you know that the last recovering parts are ripped away from your soul yet another time. i guess i can only blame myself. i hate myself, way to go casey. way to set yourself up for something...someone who would never be able to return any type of feeling towards you except the closeness of knowing for that hour or however long, you were wanted. i hate liking him so much. i hate myself...i hate myself | |
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stinko | 10-01-04 8:52am don't hate yourself
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blondie17 | Re:, 10-04-04 8:31am lets make a secret potion....member we used to do that? not so many ciggarette butts though...okay? |
stinko | 10-05-04 12:24pm good thinking |