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| squishylover (profile) wrote, on 10-7-2004 at 3:34pm | |
| Current mood: Grrr Music: Mi mama's violin playing Subject: Lava lamp |
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| God why did I let Ryan take me home? I was doing fine I was happy then he took me home and I got depressed. There was so much that I wanted to say but I couldn't say it. I had plenty of chances to as well. It was almost like "god damnit bitch go ahead and tell him if you don't now you will never get this chance again!" God on the way to Ryans car so many things sent jelous vibes through me it was so annoying. Helen gave Ryan this bracelet and he was wearing it which sent me off. Then he yelled out this girls name which did as well. Then he saw that same girl and sorta said her name. AHHH it's so amazing frustrating. I wanted to tell him that I missed him but I wanted to know if we would ever go back out again. I can't take this whole thinking about him 24/7 and not even being able to have him. Sadly though I think if I dated Cesar Ryan wouldn't even give a damn. But if he did he wouldn't show it and I would never know. I don't know what to do anymore and I just want to scream. With Cesar I am happy, but I love Ryan. But now its all up to him on what I do....I can't even fend for myself anymore. Why can't I cry! I want to cry....just let me cry... -Chasmin- |
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| Anonymous | 10-07-04 3:47pm Im sorry...
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loserxdork | 10-07-04 9:25pm Sounds complicated, like my life :-/ goddamn I wish life wasn't so fucking complicated. It really really sucks! |