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| dmlxoxo (profile) wrote, on 10-12-2004 at 4:26pm | |
| Current mood: sick Subject: closing time, open all the doors and let you out into the world.... |
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| so this weekend we closed up the beach house. we packed up our belongings, tossed everything in boxes, stripped the beds, cleaned out every cabinet and emptied the refridgerator, and then locked the door, leaving the interior of the house looking sterile and unlived in. that weighed heavy on my heart, packing up and leaving that way. as i was going through my room putting stuff away, every little thing reminded me of something from my summer. it was like one of those cheesy movie scenes when u see like, a piece of paper and u smile at it and then have flashbacks. and then, after the memory would pass, i would put it away until the next summer. it came down to me not packing up the objects and material items, but it was me packing up my summer memories, helping me to let go. while my dad was finishing up around the house, i took a walk by myself up to the beach, i walked up the wooden steps and as felt the cold wind against my skin, and then finally came over the dune to come into view of the beach, that was when it really hit me that we were leaving....for the year. it just looked- cold. i dont exactly know how it could look that way, but the sand was whiter, the water was greener, the sky was paler...and the way that the wind bit at my nose, i just knew, that was it. the lifeguard shack was all boarded up, and the beach was inhabited only by seagullls. i finally gathered enough strength up inside of me to turn my back on the beach and walk back toward my house, which almost aided me to let go of the summer. i walked back down the sidewalk onto my deck where i found my dad putting the last bike inside to store it for the winter, and the closing and locking the door behind him. we loaded up the wagon and before we left the deck, he just sort of studied the house and then looked out at the sky for a second or two: "bye house". it was, hard, very hard. we started toward town to catch the boat and every house on the way there was deserted looking. all closed up, every flag, sign, chair, taken inside---they were all so dead looking, scattered with dead, fallen leaves at their bases. it was so depressed looking. and then we finally got to the boat where we departed, leaving behind our home, our memories, and our summers passed, until the spring when we return to open up again. i'm forcing myself to accept this weekend as the..."hybernation" of my summer, to help let it go, and accept the fact thats its over. i cant let myself hold on anymore, i need to help myself move on, and this was the closure that i needed. it was hard for me and unpleasant at that, but it was an ending, and i couldnt have asked for anything more. so, this is goodbye, to the best summer i have ever known. until the next one, the memories ive accumulated will live with me always. ive put you in a cardboard box and sealed you up, preserving you with care and love. until next year, affectionately- danielle "summer has come and passed, the innocent will never last, wake me up when september ends, like my fathers come to pass, seven years has gone so fast, wake me up when september ends, here comes the rain again, falling from the stars, drenched in my pain again, becoming who we are, as my memory rests, it never forgets what i lost, wake me up when september ends..." |
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Superspaz | 10-12-04 7:45pm my parents were in FI last weekend too.. they went to OB... how weird! |
awwbaby | 10-12-04 10:12pm omg danielle that entry made me so sad :( feel betta sweetie
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