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| blondie17 (profile) wrote, on 10-18-2004 at 8:30am | |
| so i was at work yesterday, and weston came in (with his nephew, who happens to be the same age). anyways they came ina nd rented a movie. i dont understand myself. the only way to describe it is by writing the poem i wrote when i was uncontrolebly crying when he left. and luckly there was no one in the store. the jump in my stomach the ache of butterflies from just a simple view of you its pain but beauty to my eyes i cant believe you came here im unshowered and unclean your laughing when you walk out does it have to do with me? my stomache really hurts now it wont seem to go away i hate you seeing me when im not all done up, or any natural way although i cant wait to see you again. my hands are really shaking my heart is skipping beats i cant help any customers with you their watching me cant hold back the store is empty and all i do is cry i wish i wouldnt have seen you now i cant understand why why do i do this. i hate my life i want to get out of here go far away, so i can just forget you problem is i can't stay, away long enough, im obsessed i wish i never met you im admitting im depressed that was a stupid sappy poem i wrote while balling my eyes out. i dont understand. i feel sick right now writing about it. in fact my eyes are tearing even just thinking about it. i dont know what to do....i want to disappear. I WANT TO DISAPPEAR! have you ever just wanted to get in a car accident, so you could get a way a while? go unconscious? or even to do it to see if you would get anyu attention then from that personn you would pretty much do anything to have. dont think im suicidal for saying these things...there just thoughts. too bad im to weak and scared to actually try them. i guess i could be saying if i did get in an accident, i wouldnt be dissapointed. i ahte myself right now. no one understands. they cant even begin to imagine how i feel. |
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stinko | 10-19-04 8:50am casey
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