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| babaloo181 (profile) wrote, on 10-28-2004 at 10:21pm | |
| Current mood: frustrated Music: wifey by next Subject: ::sigh:: ... |
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| u know.. sometimes i wonder... would i be better off.. staying with the one i love who hurts me... or going with the one whom i just find attractive.. but who i know would never hurt me like that ... either one would be settling i guess... i guess it's really hard to look at this objectively cuz love is like the greatest bias of all.... its like .. which is better? ... someone who honestly loves u.. but who's made some mistakes and has hurt u in the past.. or someone else who's really sweet but who just thinks ur hot... i think.. that despite the pain that comes along wit staying wit the one i love... i can't bear to let him go.. i love him... i can honestly say that i love him... but it just brings me to tears when i think of what he's done and ... how he's lied to me... i know he loves me..i dont doubt that .. he just makes really fucked up decisions without considering the consequences beforehand... sigh.. this is not a situation i'd wish upon anyone... it amazes me how some ppl just dont give a fuck who they hurt ... and im not talking bout him.. im talking bout... well there's no need to mention this person but ... i could never do that to someone else... my conscience would eat me alive.. i guess that's what happens when u actually give a fuck.. when u actually have morals and standards u go by... but w/e... wat goes around comes around does it not? .. i sure as hell hope so... but w/e... i dont know wat to do... i think i'll know when i see him... i'll know whether im willing to jsut completely ignore the fact taht he's done so much shit to me in the past and lied about it ... on the basis i guess that he's changed now? .. now that he's seen how much it hurts me.. or so he claims.. trust is such an important part of a relationship though.. and... i dont trust him... at all... not even a little bit... i dont trust him around others... substances... but most of all.. i dont trust him with my heart... and taht's what scares me the most.. the fact that im willing to just give it away knowing that there's a possiblity it'll be returned.. once again... in a million shattered pieces... w/e decision i make.. i just pray it's the rite one... good night. tonite's song: caramel by city high |
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| Anonymous | 10-29-04 8:27pm if it counts frr anything...I think you make great decisions...u did decide to go to homecoming after all...I have to give u "props" on that...hehe okay now it's out of my system..and also...you wouldn't hurt anyone else like that because you are a great person :D...and just so u know...if you need me I'm here for ya! You have to remember to keep me posted on these things...cuz I am a lil confused by this entry! |
Anonymous | Re:, 10-29-04 8:28pm btw ^^
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