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| jaganshi (profile) wrote, on 11-19-2004 at 1:43pm | |
| I wake up this morning. I receive an email from Link. ashley, I am sorry about the e-mail. I was very drunk and it seemed like a good idea at the time. I'm not going to pretend that I didn't mean what I said, I meant most of it, but you knew how I felt and it didn't need said. The truth of the matter is I wasn't going to talk to you because I was going to be a father. I figured you would be hurt by that and I shouldn't have mentioned it. I don't want the last words between us to be sour, so I am apologizing. I realized recently that I haven't been myself for the past few months. That's why things with Tara and I didn't work out and that's also why things with us didn't work. I don't expect you to forgive me (even though I hardly remember writing you), but I figured it was worth a shot. I have caused you more pain than I ever should have. It's still probally best that we don't talk though, not because I'm having a kid (I'm not now), but because we have both moved on. Once again, I'm very sorry... for everything. Later, Link my reply: *sigh* Moving on doesn't mean not having contact. Each of us is secure enough in our respective relationships that there is really no expectation of problems there. I maintain my position that I still want contact with you, but I stand by everything I said in my last email. That's how I feel when it seems like you're trying deliberately to harm me in some way. And as for the whole fatherhood thing, you're 'not now'? What does that mean? You're no longer worried about it, or she's no longer pregnant? If I have no business asking, go ahead and tell me so; you won't hurt my feelings or anything. I'm pretty resilient as that goes. The only time you hurt me is when I feel like you want to. Your actions don't cause me harm, but when I get to thinking that all I deserve in your mind is punishment, that does sting a bit, I can admit in my new altered state. As for why things with you and Tara didn't work out.... that's such a tired subject upon which I have expressed my opinion more times than I ought. So.... as some form of conclusion, you're always welcome in my life. Whether I'm welcome in yours is obviously a decision you feel you've had to make. I'll always leave a way for you to contact me if you want, but I guess I have little reason to expect you to do so. I'm sorry you feel the way you do, but I respect your decision. I'll keep to myself if that's what you want. Be good to yourself. So maybe I'll be here, Maybe I'll see you around. That's the way it goes... Reverend Ashley ********* ****** |
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silvos | 11-19-04 3:04pm And he wasn't drunk for that? |
jaganshi | Re:, 11-21-04 5:12pm No. Presumably not. |