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| mle (profile) wrote, on 11-22-2004 at 12:34am | |
| Current mood: . sleepy . Music: . three days grace . wake up. Subject: |
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anytime i feel like i'm getting somewhere, something happens that makes me question everything. and i'm back to square one. and the sudden onset of sarah-and-nicole-but-not-emily-ness is definitely not helping any. i feel like i have no one. well, there's always marcus, but that's another ridiculous entry in itself... hardly breathing on my own don't have the words to say to you... in time i'll know enough to know better . the december drive . this side you've never seen . god i love that song. it is the story of my life. highly recommend downloading it off of their website. i moved out 3 months ago, and i've been 18 for a month. why don't i feel any different? i still go home almost every weekend, and i still think about my parents when i make more than half of my daily decisions and all of my major ones. am i the only adult who feels more and more like a child every day? this whole thing with marcus is just tieing me up in circles. seriously- why can't i just choose yes or no? we've been on a break for a full 3 weeks... and i still see him 1-3 days a week. he still sleeps in my bed, and he's coming to the g.parents' for thanksgiving. he is such a comfort and i need him in my life, but at the same time, i am always searching for independence. i keep a definite lookout for guys to distract myself with. i'm hoping for a couple good flings before the end of the semester ;) and i thought high school was for "finding yourself" or whatever that bullshit theme of adolescence is. man, senior year, i had it all worked out. i was going places, with or without a solid friend base. now... i just suck. i don't quite fit in with my ultra-liberal slacker friends, but i don't feel comfortable with katherine and lindsey and all of those pretty, typical college girls. i don't think there is a place for me in life. pull the trigger and the nightmare stops . coheed and cambria . three evils . what did i ever do to deserve such perpetual disappointment? |
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spud | 11-22-04 3:23pm oh hey.
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