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| upchuck (profile) wrote, on 12-16-2004 at 12:29pm | |
| Current mood: cold Music: Theme from "Hey Dude": Do you remember that show from Nickelodeon? Subject: People |
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| I think it's a breaking point. It's a point that comes in life where you can either give in to life and let life win, or you can fight back. I look in my life for people that haven't let life take them over. Or at least people who have the potential. People who I think will be something more than what life says they are. I can't think of too many people at work who will ever overcome where they are at. One person I do consider like that is Dustin. No matter what happens in life he is not going to let it get to him. See, I thought Shari was like that. I thought that she could be something more, something so much more. That is why it is so frustrating to think about her now. Yes, she may be happy, but she could be so much more. That is why it is disapointing for me to think about Jessa. Yeah, she's happy, and I'm happy for her, but I thought she could be something more than what she is at this point. Life (marriage and children) have gotten to her. Not that it's a bad thing, and knowing her, she's going to go after it, I know she will. Then that brings me to Kim. Someone who is so much smarter than me, someone who I see so much in, that's why it frustrates me. Today I began to wonder if I was one of those people. I'm beginning to doubt that I am one of those special people. Yeah, I know a lot. I'm somewhat smart, but not as intelligent as some people. I'm average. My job doesn't really give me great satisfaction. I keep making small mistakes, but I feel as if I shouldn't be making any. I was out to dinner with my parents on Firday night and they talked to some people that they knew and those people talked about where their kids were going to college. How their daughter was getting ready to go to Harvard Law and their son was in Florida at some top aeronautics school. Also how they were paying for their kids to go to school. My dad was just kind of looking at me and he said, "it must be nice." There was this tone of disappointment in his voice. I couldn't figure out where it was directed. If it was directed at me because I have to balance work and my grades suffer, because I wasn't good enough to go those places, or if he was disappointed in himself that he couldn't do that for me. Maybe I'm not one of those people anymore. Maybe I've let life get on top of me. Maybe I've let life break me too. |
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kandy | hey!, 01-03-05 2:42pm hey you know what? i applaud your efforts of keeping your job working as many hours as you can getting a managment position and still at least passing your classes. that's more than what alot of people i know can do. things will get better there's always a positive side to life even when it's looking alot like hell. |