| Add Memory | Add To Friends | |
| silentcriez (profile) wrote, on 12-25-2004 at 12:23pm | |
so its christmas.. and it doesnt really feel like it.. i had fun last night tho.. im glad kaitlin was home for me this year. i wouldnt have been able to get by this christmas without her. she took me out with chris and darrah last night for a drive to nowhere lol we all took some oc's and had a great christmas i love them. we drove the prison lol and into boston and everywhere imaginable. im glad i didnt get a chnace to sit by myself and cry this year... im just thankful that i have my sister i love her :: 2003 25 December :: 12.17 am :: Mood: depressed :: Music: too much of not enuff - silverchair what a fuckin merry christmas its offically christmas.. and i am officially most likely the saddest person on earth at this moment in time i want so bad to see my mom.. but i have to be dumb and push her out of my life when that is whats making me so deppressed.... ive tried to be strong and show her i dont need her but the truth is that i love her so much and i hate her becuz i miss her but i cant tell her that now, its too late.. she wouldnt care anyways i feel so alone and its christmas, no1 deserves to feel alone.. my dads asleep and i cant find anything to do with myself. i just sit and think and teh only thing i can think about is my mom and i start to cry. and my moms out with my sister prolly having a great time.. i promised myself i wouldnt cry tonight, and here i am drowning in my tears.... if only she knew everything i feel. i just want to wrap my arms aiound her and have her tll me everything will be ok.. i just need to know that im gonna be ok, becuz i dont know how much longer i can go on like this. its eating away at me. i cant handle it. each present i may receive today will never quench my thirst for happiness.. becuz no superficial materialistic pile of crap could ever bring my mom back, and that kills.... im sorry i sound self centered tonite, as if no1 else has problems. im sorry. but to me this is as bad as it gets, i dont know pain greater than this so forgive me for these tears... -- crying again... ick... |
|
| Post A Comment |
|
xonixieox | 12-25-04 3:25pm amanda im glad your having a better christmas.. my christmas sucks this year :( but i do remember that around this time was when we became friends last year.. i was scared of you at the beggining of the year becasue you were "a bad ass" or so i heard lol im glad we could become so close i love you amanda maltz!
|
silentcriez | Re:, 12-26-04 10:58am I love u Nikkie and im glad that we became friend! and i hope noe u see that im not a bad ass i love u Merry christmas, and call my ass sometime. |