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paradox (profile) wrote,
on 12-27-2004 at 4:24pm
Music: Mos Def And Talib Kweli- Thieves In The Night
Subject: Anonymous Art Form

Enriching your finest dreams
I quickly re-stich your minds seams;
Drawing art on blank hearts,
Tearing the frame apart.
Seeing through plastered eyes
Trying to revise disguises,
Molded a Mona Lisa mask
The cold clay unfolding at last,
Now its known
You're your own, masterpiece.

Entangling heart strings
As this mangled art sings,
These screams were found
Around a museum,
Of deserted feelings.
The ceiling collapsed as
Abstract strokes of symmetry
Bled every forgotten memory.

Everlasting has his time spent
Reinventing broken mind sets,
The scenery seems empty
But it didn't die yet
A pallet, with worlds of colors
Drips wet.
The artist is anonymous
And must hide hints.
He continues painting pictured words
But I'm blinded.


As always, all comments are appreciated
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brokenmentality

12-27-04 9:24pm

i like this. i like the structure. i like the metaphors.

i like that you incorporated art and museums.. thats something new for you. something different.. and mixing it up is always good. but the message was a little unclear in parts. i had to read it a few times to get the over all "theme".. or whatever. ( i know what im trying to say.. its just not comming out right.. lol ).

i like alot of the lines.

Abstract strokes of symmetry
Bled every forgotten memory

that one jumped for some reason.

i like the word mangled in here.. it adds an extra element to the poem.

im trying to decide what the message is though. i can almost see it as something spiritual. if i read it.. (which i have numerous times) i can almost see the narrator as god. but i have a feeling thats not what you intended it to be.

good word choice, good flow.. but maybe if you tried to make it a little clearer. otherwise this is real good!

[stamp of approval]

*not that you need it!*
laughs.

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paradox

Re:, 12-27-04 9:34pm

Well the message that I was aiming for is somewhat close to what you said. The artist of all paintings (people) is god, and all the paintings are us. and we change ourselves, and reconstruct our outlines and all that.. to who we are.. I dunno its 1 gigantic metaphor.. so yeah... Thanks for the feed babe

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